Um...Pools are also a good way to get guys naked four shores. Dudes will drop trou at the mere mention of potential aquatic activities. All I have to say is "Hey dude, wanna swim?" and blamo: Clothes comes off and dicks start swinging in the air!
I've had more naked peen in my pool this summer than I've had in my vag! I don't know if that's good or bad (I'm thinking bad) but it's a fact.
2) Comedian Ron Babcock's fucking hilarious blog on Tumblr
When I am not entertaining dicks in my pool I am escaping the summer heat inside on the comfort of my couch, watching Weeds, smoking out and reading this dude's blog. Check it out.
Drugs made my favorite bands, drugs ruined my favorite people. But I still love them.
This summer I went out of town on the road with some local Phoenix bands for a show and ended up shrooming and smoking and drinking with a bunch of dude musicians in a hotel room all night. One of the best nights ever. It made me realize how much I love drugs and sausage parties (more meat for the taking!) and when I combine them, only good things happen, despite what my mother tries to tell me.
Everyone that knows me, knows I love food. I might love food more than sex....but I'll have to think about it and it depends on the type of sex. But boy do I love BBQs.
Give me a beer and throw some meat and veggies on an open flame and I will just about grow a dick!
Keep this on the low-down - but dudes who say the don't like to "cook" usually love to "grill" - even thought it's the same fucking thing - so if you got a boner-fide-non-cooking dude that you aren't willing to give up on yet, get him to "grill" for you and sit back and enjoy. Bonus points if he wears nothing but your "Kiss the Cook" apron.
I got an awesome mix cd for the summer from my friend Ryan, check it out:
St. Vincent - Actor Out of Work
Cage the Elephant - Ain't No Rest for the Wicked
Matt & Kim - Don't Slow Down
Kid Cudi/Crookers - Embrace the Martian
Lily Allen - Fuck You
Sage Francis - Got Up This Morning
Woods - Gypsy Hand
Amanda Blank - I'm A Lady (Santogold/Diplo Remix)
Phoenix - Lisztomania
White Rabbits - Percussion Gun
Dinosaur Jr. - Pieces
The Knux - Playboys
Mos Def - Quiet Dog Bite Hard
Scarlett Johansson & Pete Yorn - Relator
Passion Pit - Sleepyhead
Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks
Japandroids - Wet Hair
Wilco - Wilco (the Song)
Whether it be a dick in a pool or a flash in the pants, nothing spells F-U-N better than summer romances. Remember that summer while growing up when you finally got to hang out with that boy that you'd been crushing on all school year? Or when you got that summer job as a waitress and had a quick summer fling with the short order cook who would smoke you up in his car whilst blasting Pantera and make you BLTs when it was slow? Or that time you went to Europe for the summer and met some Italian dudes who put the panini in your crostini?
I loves me some summer romance! It's fun, quick, painless and over and done with right when you need it to be.
So there you have it. My summer '09 list.