Saturday, March 28, 2009

You put the lettuce seeds in your ears!!

I've always considered The Weekly World News to be an important source of information. Sure, their reputation is not as glamorous as The New York Times, but when computers really do take over the world, TWWN will be there to say, "I told you so!" as we all roast our post-apocalyptic wienies.

Did you know Google has them online? You can read a decades worth, along with Jet, and others.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Move over for the FEMPIRE

Though I'm not sure what it has to do with "style," this article in March 20 edition of The New York Times Fashion & Style section talks about the new entourage in Hollywood: a group of four female screenwriters. While it's really nice to hear about a group of professional females banding together and supporting each other, I'm just pleased that there are people making movies with strong female characters. Which is why I'm slightly surprised that one of the "fempire" wrote that piece of crap 'Nick & Nora's Infinite Playlist.' What was with all the gay male characters giving Nora, the main female character, a makeover that included a different shirt that showed more cleve so Nick would like her? God forbid dudes be into a girl without her displaying the goods.

Still, I can't wait to see more films by the Fempire ladies. There's a new gang in town.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Craft Talk

I'm loving this video right now:

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Gart Porn at the DBG

Last weekend we hit up the Desert Botanical Garden in phatass Phoenix. They are currently featuring a Chihuly glass exhibit.



You can tell what was on our minds.










more boobs

more peen

In case you are wondering how we feel about this garden art (gart):


We call this one, "zap a do bop zop zap a doo"


all photos by clitical sass and lady of leisure

Welcome to my face

Deven Green is BADASS.

Check it out:

Check out her website too:

Thursday, March 12, 2009

I went out on a date with a guy that voted for McCain!!!!!!



He's so cute though (the date, not McCain).....

I am at a crossroads. Can i convert him from the dark side?
I want to make out with him and check out his republican caucus.

I texted him this morning:"I had fun last night and, even though you voted for McCain, I would like to go out again sometime"

He texted back:"I had a good time last night too! We should definitely go out again and try not to hold that McCain thing against me "

I was going to text back:"Maybe you can hold something against me? "

but it's too early in the game for such talk.... so instead i texted:"Well since good triumphed over evil, I won't hold it against you. But FYI McCain has a horrible voting record on funding for veterans"

the date is an ex-military guy - so hot in a uniform.......

Maybe I can:

Check out his stimulus package
G.O.P. all over him
Search for W.M.D.s (and if we’re a code red on the Terrorist Threat Level Index then it will be time to invade and conquer)
Get a feel for his Republican Caucus
I'll give him the ole' reach across the aisle
Check out his pork barrel initiative

or he can:
Dick my Cheney
Vote for my Bush
Watch his economics trickle down my face
Filibuster all over me

HOWEVER, if he gets me preggers - i'm having an abortion!!!!!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

"If you cum right now you're dead"

This is a video of Avenue D's "Punk Rock Song." These ladies are amazing. Check out their other songs "Do I look like s Slut?," "Orgasmatron," "and "too drunk to fuck" (an ode to whiskey dick). Personally, I am a huge fan of the last song mentioned but I can't find a video anywhere. Sadly, Avenue D are broken up now.

Buy albums and their DVD here:

Rock your Bachs

Hey ladies!

Oppressive summers are just around the corner, which means it's time to put the poolboy on speed dial and put together a soundtrack guaranteed to shake his skimmers and skivvies.

Here's a preview of what we're stripping down to:

Shitdisco - Lover of Others
Kid Sister - Control (JFK Remix)
Michael Franti and Spearhead - Say Hey (I Love You)
Beck - Tropicalia
RJD2 - 1976

Want more?
Keep your eye out for our release of Poolboy Magazine!
Inside will be more music and our Poolboys of the month to make you sweat and keep you wet!

-Ophelia Bachs

We heart Peaches

When I worked at Harvard I used to watch this video constantly with a co-worker. There's nothing better than Peaches, Iggy Pop, AND zombies.

Friday, March 6, 2009

To the woman that crapped in my car

A gem of a craigslist find:

To the woman that crapped in my car. - m4w - 25 (pdx)
Reply to: [?]
Date: 2009-02-13, 7:30PM PST

To the woman that crapped in my car. (NE Portland)

We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,
P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early. Touche


Sounds like a guy after my own heart:

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Oh Helllllllllllllllllllllllllllll No!

Just got this email from Planned Parenthood:

They just won't stop. Yesterday, I wrote to you with breaking news about an attempt to strip Title X funding for Planned Parenthood from the Appropriations Act — now anti-choice senators are pushing a new amendment to undermine access to birth control.

The debate is happening today in the Senate. We need you to call your senators right now and tell them to vote "NO" on the DeMint Amendment to strip affordable birth control provisions from the Appropriations Act. Call the Senate switchboard at 202-224-3121 to contact your senators.

Planned Parenthood has been working to restore access to affordable birth control since 2007, when a legislative error caused the price of birth control to skyrocket by up to 900 percent for low-income women and college students. The no-cost fix to this problem has passed in the House of Representatives, and it's strongly supported by President Obama — but anti-choice senators are making one last effort to derail the affordable birth control fix.

Call 202-224-3121 and make sure your senators know: The affordable birth control fix is not an earmark. It's a vital piece of legislation that will expand access to family planning services for thousands of low-income women and college students and help them prevent unintended pregnancies at no cost to the federal government or to tax payers.

Senator DeMint, a long-time opponent of family planning, has submitted an amendment to remove affordable birth control provisions from the bill, claiming that the vital legislation is nothing but an earmark for Planned Parenthood. But here are the facts: this fix does not provide funding to Planned Parenthood — or anyone else! It simply fixes a mistake in the law that put up a roadblock for pharmaceutical companies who wanted to offer cheaper drugs to health clinics.

In these economic times, government should be removing unnecessary barriers like this one — and supporting common sense policies that give women the ability to plan their families and their futures.

I know we've been asking a lot of you recently, and I want you to know that your support is making a huge difference in Congress. It's so important for those of us who support family planning and expanding health care access to speak out, loud and clear.

Call your senators at 202-224-3121 and tell them to keep affordable birth control provisions in the Appropriations Act.

I've had enough of anti-choice politicians hiding their opposition to family planning behind claims of fiscal responsibility. Don't let them get away with it.

Please, call your senators now and help us pass the affordable birth control fix once and for all.

Thank you for standing with us as we work to secure an important victory for family planning and women across the country.

The Acockalypse - Master Dickheads

Hey we straight ladies love the cock as much as the next gay guy but these dickheads take it to the next level.

I Bang the Worst Dudes is a blog that features reader submitted stories about bad lays, small cocks, limp dicks, and straight-out Acockalyptic dudes:

The PoolBoy Blog is now active!


We're ready to go on this blog thing. We've figured it out. We're awesome at figuring shit out.