You put the lettuce seeds in your ears!!

I've always considered The Weekly World News to be an important source of information. Sure, their reputation is not as glamorous as The New York Times, but when computers really do take over the world, TWWN will be there to say, "I told you so!" as we all roast our post-apocalyptic wienies.

Did you know Google has them online? You can read a decades worth, along with Jet, and others.