Once during college I played an icebreaker game called "I've Never.."
The game makes a group of people sit in a large circle. One person stands in the middle and says "I've never..." and says something they have never done (gone skydiving, shoplifted, been to Paris, blah blah blah). Everyone in the circle who has done the act has to get up and run to another chair. Everyone who has not, stays seated. The person left standing without a chair is the new middle person and must say something they have never done, and the game continues.
On this particular night, after a few boring rounds, I was left in the middle.
Unable to contain myself, I blurted out: "I've never snorted coke off my boyfriend's boner"
Everyone in the room froze except for one woman who jumped up to run to another chair.
We're about four episodes into the new season of Project Runway! If you don't watch it, you should. I have some shit to talk right now so Spoiler Alerts ahead matey!
First off WTF is up with Crybaby Johnny Sakalis (aka Meth Dude)? Yeah I know he's a recovering addict and has some shit he needs to work out but the editing makes it look like he freaks out about everything! It's what? Season 6 now? Homeballs should know what he's in for by now don't you think? The challenges are hard buddy.
Oh and sorry to sound like Perez Hilton but having crazypants Lyndsey Lohan as your celebrity judge on the first episode? The first episode of your new season on a new channel no less? Uh?
Also check out cutie River Phoenix-look-alike Logan Neitzel! Too bad his designs are a little boring and he speaks like a robot. Dude needs to stop paying so much attention to his peen machine and more on his designs.
And thankfully Crystal is finally gone. Her designs looked like something you’d see at the Clearwater Senior Center cafeteria. My friends and I always do a pool for Project Runway each season, we pick our top 3 after the 3rd episode and then an ultimate winner out of the top 3 and we all put in $5. Whoever picks the correct top 3/winner gets all the money.
My top 3 for this season are: Althea Gordana Carol Hannah
So I went to a best friend’s wedding this past weekend.I was a bridesmaid, something that I’ve never done.
Weddings do a lot to you.They make you eat and drink too much, they make you think about love. They also make you horny.While listening to the Rabbi talk about what love and marriage mean and what makes people want to get married and stay married, all I could think of was how I was going to get into the pants of the groom’s hot cousin with the Jew fro.
After the ceremony, the party began and my attempts at a hook up with Jew-fro cousin were going really well. We hung out during the party, gettin' a little tipsy. I sat by him on the party bus back to the hotel and then we went up to his room and started fooling around. I asked if he had a condom, he said no, I said I had one in my room (cuz im prepared like that, what what) and left to go get it. I got to my room and realized I didn't have my room key on me. So I went downstairs to the front desk, got a key, went back up to my room, and got the condom. But by then I had drunkenly forgotten what room the dude was in. I knocked on a ton of doors trying to find him but alas, no hot dude. I don't even remember if I was on the right floor. I was pretty drunk at that point.
So I gave up and went to bed. That's right ladies, I failed at a hook up because I couldn't remember what room the dude was in.
SAD
The next day in the lobby he was like "what happened last night?" I told him the story and he laughed. Awkwardly, we were on the same flight back to Phoenix (where he connected to L.A.) but thankfully he had a sense of humor (I don't bang - or fail at banging - unfunny people) and we were able to joke about the whole thing.
I am actually kinda bummed I didn't bag him. That's what weddings are for right?
oh wellz...
Every time I attend a friend’s wedding (which is getting more and more often) I just can’t help but fall in love with love and weddings and parties and hot cousins.Weddings are one of the best aphrodisiacs because they put all the right pieces in place for some hot sex: food, alcohol, dancing, happiness, out-of-town relatives, hotels, jacuzzis, and more alcohol.
Except for my FAIL at hooking up with the groom's cousin, I did all the required things a bridesmaid should do at her best friend's wedding:
During my bridesmaid speech, I embarrassed several of the bride’s ex-boyfriends in attendance at the wedding when I stated that “I’ve never liked any of your boyfriends before this one.”
I ate too much food and almost couldn’t fit into my bridesmaid dress.
I offered the “Last chance, are you sure you want to do this?You can jump ship right now” speech to the bride as I helped her get dressed.
I cried too much when I saw her in her beautiful gown walking down the aisle.
Once during college I played an icebreaker game called "I've Never.."
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