We're moving this shizz!!!

we've got our new website up and redesigned and it now features out infamous blog.

check it out: poolboymagazine.com

we'll be adding more neat-o stuff to it in the near future but we wanted to let you know, if you want more of your poolboy blog, you gotta go to poolboymagazine.com from now on.

rock on ladies,
Queen Dicktoria

King of the Urban Jungle

Cake Wrecks

I was so sad to hear that I wouldn't be in town when one of my favorite blogs visited my local indie bookstore for a signing. To help me get over this loss I've decided to post some of my favorite entries. The blog is Cake Wrecks and they've got a new book out which literally had my tearing up I was laughing so hard. The premise is simple: funny or weird cakes. Intrigued? I thought so.

Classic break up cake. You almost gotta respect someone who dumps you like this. At least they left you something to eat while crying.

I hope the cake giver wasn't also the herpes giver.

Now, you may be thinking, these cakes don't have anything to do with sex or naked dudes. And those above don't. But there are some PoolBoy related cakes. Oh yes, there surely are.

Semi-nude dude on a bearskin rug? That's pretty fucking PoolBoy.

And finally, the icing on the PoolBoy cake (har har)....

What's that apostrophe about?

Also, I want one of these at the launch party.

C-String it

hey ladies, i bet you thought this post was going to be about music right?

WRONG

May I present to you, the newest in insanely unnecessary products:
The CString

according to the "company" (if you want to call it that):
The CString is a completely new and exciting (!!! - my empasis here) innovation in lingerie. Say goodbye to panty line and uncomfortable straps. Say hello to a sexy new freedom.

The CString can be worn under all your favorite clothes:
• Dresses • Skirts • Jeans

The CString can also be worn alone:
• Swimwear • Lingerie

--

it looks like you are wearing a menstrual pad

That's right fuckers, freedom is sexy. It's also new.
i dont know how they can equate wearing a piece of wire up your butt as "freedom" when you could just not wear underwear if you are so concerned about panty lines (so emotionally and physically debilitating btw)

Not wearing underwear to avoid those DISGUSTING panty lines could save you $25.00+ that you can now spend on blow instead of a C-string.

They propose wearing it to the beach! I can't wait to wear it to the beach where it will just fall out from between my legs like i just pooped an exciting new innovation in lingerie.
And then i will scream about panty lines (so fucking disgusting!!!!) while i cover my junk and try to re-insert this crazy thing up my butt.

However, as idiotic as this looks on women, i really can't wait until they come out with the D-String for men:

Awkward Boners

You know when you wake up in the morning feeling frisky and turn over to your man to initiate a love fest and notice that he's already got some morning wood ready for you? That's a surprise blessing boner. In contrast, when you're in class and you lean over to get a peak at your crush and notice that he's got a tent pitched in his shorts while your old man professor pontificates on the merits of Milton, that's an awkward boner. Don't get me wrong, Milton rules, but worthy of a classroom boner? I think not.

Did you know there's a whole blog dedicated to awkward boners? I didn't but I'm sure as hell glad I do now. They even have a feature where you can vote on if the boner is understandable or awkward!

In celebration of the season of swimming and sun, I bring you some photos of awkward summer boners from the awkward boners blog.

Beach boners are hard (ha ha!) because there are so many scantily clad ladies around. I can almost understand this wood.

Falling asleep after viewing so many bikinis has gotta lead to sweet dreams. As evidenced here.

This kid probably got a boner from seeing his own hot body in the pool mirror. That or he just kicked someone's ass in the 100 breast stoke.

(For T-bag)

Advertise in PoolBoy's First Issue!

Hey ladies,
Queen Dicktoria here. I rule the peen universe at PoolBoy Magazine and I'm writing to let you know that while we're putting the finishing touches on our very special first print issue of PoolBoy Magazine, we still have some ad space left for you to grab. We love offering low price ads to our friends in local communities and those in the sex industry making products that women love.

Hit up our Advertising Director, Jacki Oh, at jackiATpoolboymagazineDOTcom for info on ad rates and deadlines.

We'll also start offering web advertising on our new website soon to go live next week! We can't wait to take over the world. Won't you join us?

Loves and tugs,
Queen Dicktoria

World Cup Wonders

The World Cup is finally underway! We posted about the many hotties involved in this huge worldwide competition back when we blogged about Kickette, an amazing British soccer blog, but now that the games have officially begun though I figured we could do another round.

Ok, actually, it's because I saw the photos from Cristiano Ronaldo's (Portugal) new Armani underwear ad. I'll just say it right now, I freakin' love soccer.

!!!

I'm not sure about the undies, mostly because it's hard to tear my eyes away from the rest of Ronaldo, but damn. That's really all I got. HOT DAMN.

Spartacus: Nude Dudes Galore and Gore

So um I've been kinda obsessed with this show Spartacus: Blood and Sand on Starz (which has been putting together some good series lately, Party Down anyone?).  It's produced by Sam Raimi of Evil Dead and Spider-Man fame and is loosely based on the story of the ancient Greek slave rebellion leader, Spartacus.

But that shit is not why i like it.

Being a cable show means you can get away with mucho and Spartacus does not shy away from anything.  There's tons of blood splattering and maiming and killing (with more blood splattering).  A scene where a dude has to hold onto his spilled out intestines before being beheaded is par for the course in this show.  There's also TONS OF NUDE DUDE SHOTS.

The character of Spartacus, played by uber-hotz actor/model/engineer (wtf?) Andy Whitfield, is captured as a slave of the Roman empire after he defects from the Roman military.  He is sent to die in the arena of Capua by the hands of trained gladiators but he escapes his death sentence and is then showed mercy and sent to live and train as a gladiator at a training compound run by scheming social climber Lentulus Batiatius and his equally devious wife, Lucretia (played most excellently by Lucy Lawless of Xena fame).

 So this gladiator training compound is where the totally hot dudes walk around naked, showing some P&A (peen and ass) and oiling themselves up (not joking) after a long day of gladiating or whatever the fuck they do.

The actors wear next to nothing (and nothing) constantly and their characters are at the whim of the Lucretia who frequently asks them up to the main house to disrobe and pleasure her and her friends.  YES THIS IS PART OF THE SHOW.

 Anyways, all the background sob stories of the characters are interesting and the intrigue and scheming of the villains also helps move the story along in between shots of buff naked dudes.

Check it out if for fun drama, hot naked dudes, and graphic blood splattering.

Phoenix NUDE Times Feature on PoolBoy!

Check out the Phoenix New Times Feature on PoolBoy Magazine!

Radness!

photo by Miss Atomic Photography

and FYI ladies, our very special, 1st issue of PoolBoy Magazine is set to be released this August! Can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Women's Porn Mag Cockblocked in UK

This is news from last year but Filament, a women's erotica magazine, was cockblocked by their printer for pictures of erect penises in their second issue. Apparently their first issue, released last year, had three sets of pics of hot lads without dropping their pants. That in itself surprises me.


On hearing the reader demand for hard cocks, the Filament team included some fine boneage in their second issue only to have their printer refuse, "citing potential objections from 'the women's/religious sectors.'"

Uhhh...what? Can you imagine a printer refusing to publish one of the thousands of porn mags for men because "men's/religious sectors" might object?

Kristina Lloyd and Mathilde Madden make some good points in the Guardian article about the whole debacle, including this gem:

While some contend the lack of female-oriented erotica reflects a lack of demand, claiming the free market would prevail if women wanted such material, Filament's experience of cockblocking proves otherwise. Perhaps what's most insidious in this saga is that the market's refusal to admit Filament reinforces an idea of female sexuality which justifies that very refusal. The absence of visual erotica for women on shelves crammed with magazines where women are products for male consumers, reduces female desire to the less-interested counterpart of male desire. The deficit positions women as the providers of sex for perpetually horny dudes. And so, runs the self-fulfilling logic, of course women don't want magazines targeting their desire. Women don't have desire, see? They merely receive it.

You might be wondering why I'm blogging about another porn magazine for women on the PoolBoy Magazine blog. Isn't that our competition, you may be wondering? Honestly, I'm just psyched to see there are other women producing porn mags. That's just more variety for ladies. It gets so old having to look at the same porn, and men don't seem to have this problem because there are tons of different mags and movies for them to look at. Women have less than a handful. Plus, how could you not love a magazine whose slogan is "the thinking woman's crumpet?"

Luckily the British magazine is now on it's 5th issue, proving that ladies all over the world love man meat.

Tween Wet Dreams

Like many of you, I spent many a night watching Newsies when I was younger. If I was having a sleepover we might rent Newsies AND Swing Kids and spend all night exclaiming over how cute Christian Bale was (and I mean that past tense, he totally became a creepster as he got older).

Ok, I admit it, we also spent a lot of time freeze framing and rewinding trying to figure out if there was actually a boner in the scene where the Newsies head to Brooklyn to enroll Spot and his crew in the good fight. Look for the kid climbing out of the water. Total boneage.

This Bad Romance Lady Gaga mash up with Seize the Day brings back memories of these more innocent times. It actually works really well. It's like the Lady G was singing just for little Christian Bale.



(Via Huffington Post)

Also, I can't help but post the video for "Carrying the Banner" as well. It'll make the 12 year old girl inside you swoon. Singing! Dancing! Boy candy! Pelvic Thrust at 4:00!

Women Like to Watch Porn, Deal with It

In response to a Stop Porn Culture conference held in Boston by the Stop Porn Coalition, a group that claims to be feminist but is actually rooted in fundamentalist Christian organizations (though this fact is hidden on their website and other materials), Violet Blue created Our Porn, Ourselves. The Our Porn, Ourselves mission statement says:

We women are tired of people trying to control our sexuality by telling us what we should or shouldn’t like sexually (porn) based on what someone else thinks is best for us. It’s like keeping women in a perpetual state of being children about sex. And women who say they are feminists make it worse by discounting all the women who find porn to be an empowering sex toy. Or if not, to at least give us the benefit of the doubt that we can make that decision for ourselves, thank you very much.

It's about time there was a counter argument to the anti-porn feminists. I'm not about to tell someone they're not feminist for being against porn, especially if they're exposure to porn is all the violent shit out there. But I'm also not about to judge anyone for what turns them on or tell other women that they shouldn't explore their sexuality to see what exactly does turn them on. There's a great quote by Sarah Estrella, from the Sex & Relationship Examiner, that addresses the compatibility of the feminist label and porn:

...To that I’d add that feminism and pornography are no longer incompatible, if they ever were, and both are becoming more progressive than you might imagine (witness such phenomena as the recent 5th annual Feminist Pornography Awards). As one set of feminists are returning to the old right wing rallying cries of Andrea Dworkin, another set is increasingly participating in the means and ways of production of adult entertainment, and becoming a significant portion of the audience for pornographic material as consumers. As a result, the old charges that pornography is about a male-centric and sexist objectification of women are falling apart. To be sure, there is still plenty to talk about, plenty to protest, and plenty to change for the better in the adult enterainment industry – particularly around violence against and exploitation of women, to the extent that each still exist – but the argument that feminism is by definition anti-porn just doesn’t hold up anymore.

That's what PoolBoy Magazine is all about, acknowledging and accepting that women are sexual and enjoy being so. Instead of being sexualized by the media and society, PoolBoy asserts that women should be sexual and address what gets them hot. How are women to enjoy sex if they're not allowed to explore what it is exactly that turns them on? Or just be judged by what gets them going? Perhaps the underlying message of anti-porn groups are that women are not supposed to enjoy sex, or only be the means that they deem acceptable. Sad face.

Anyway, porn is cool and people, men or women, telling other women that they shouldn't watch it are just as bad as men making laws about what women can or cannot do with their bodies. Why don't you just let decide for themselves? Or, if you don't like the porn that's out there, make your own!

Our Porn, Ourselves is having a video contest with some rad prizes. All you have to do is, "Make a short video that tells us you are pro-porn, and upload the video to your favorite video sharing website. This is where you get to tell us “I’m pro-porn and I vote!” When you’re done, Tweet the location (URL) of the video with the hashtag #proporn. The deadline is June 12, the start of the Stop Porn Culture feminist anti-porn conference." The prizes are listed on Our Porn, Ourselves so check them out and get to making your video!

A picture is worth a thousand licks

If you've ever seen The Pillow Book, you've shared the fantasy of painting up and down some hot dude's body. Or even having some sexy artist type guy painting up and down yours. The paintbrush tickling up your skin, the curious designs directing your lover to your lady bits and then watching those designs smear on the bedsheets when you can't take the teasing anymore. HOT.

There's a plethora of companies who understand this need to get down and dirty with a creative flair. Every sex shop I've visited has a weighty section of colored oils, paint pens filled with lickable goo, and even finger pots with black light bulbs in case you feel the need to re-enact that steamy scene in Earth Girls are Easy.


On a recent excursion to Fascinations, I picked up this: Lovin' Body Paints. Reasonably priced at $10, it boasted 4 flavors (Cherry, Blueberry, Lime and Lemon) and a paintbrush.

After some steamy sexting to my gentleman friend, I headed to his place and threw the kit into the fridge to let it cool down. This isn't necessary, as the paints are displayed out on a regular shelf, but I figured it would add to the sensations. As things heated up between us, I snagged the kit out of the fridge, and asked my bearded hottie if he was up for a little art school.

The paintbrush is so small, I wondered if I had bought the paint kit for midgets. It's awkward, and the cheap, stiff plastic bristles aren't exactly tantalizing and don't lend to the experience. In fact, they kind of scrape against your more tender bits. We ended up using our fingers instead.

We started with the cherry tub. It's texture is like pudding, and they really fill the little container, so be careful when you open it or you could get a lap full of paint. Which may or may not be a good thing depending on how lick happy your mate is. The color is very bright, but you have to put it on thick if you want to see it. It's not very sticky, and clean up is a breeze!

I only put two dots on a tender part of his skin, but that was more than enough to taste the flavor. And it was awful. It tasted just like cheap cough syrup. Unfortunately, that alone was enough for us to ditch art class and grab some honey we had just picked up at the Farmer's Market. That went a lot better, though it's very sticky (which is fun when it dries just a little and every part of you that touches bonds together) and a little harder to clean up. I definitely recommend putting down a sheet that you can throw into the washer when you're done, and look forward to some extended shower time.

We'll probably try the other flavors later when we're drunk and feeling silly, but other than that, I would not recommend buying this product. In fact, you can find recipes on how to make your own, which I may do next time Ewan and I are looking to add a little color to our bedroom routine.

Aeric Meredith-Goujon Photography

Check out the erotic photography section of Aeric Meredith-Goujon's website. There's some BSDM, some female ejaculation, and some masturbation series.  But I found his couple's pictures super hot.

enjoy some below and then check out his site

Hot Guys Reading Books

There's pretty much nothing hotter to me than an attractive dude reading a good book. Blamo! My undies are instantly wet. Srsly. It's pretty much the reason I work at a bookstore. Yes, I love books and I love to talk about them but really I love to flirt with hot dudes who ask me for recommendations or just ogle them while they flip through The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. Whoa is right.

So when my friend sent me a link to Hot Guys Reading Books I almost fell out of my chair. And then I spent a long, long time looking through it. There's a little sampling below to wet your whistle.

I don't even care what the book is. Hello!

Obviously European, no? Wish I could tell what he was reading.


That's a saucy little smirk, my friend. I like.

Loafers! Would totally approach this dude and strike up a convo about whatever he's reading. Hope it's not Eat, Pray, Love.

HGRB says he was reading a Harry Potter book. Get in my pants!

Heinlein, nice. You can be a stranger in my strange land any day.


Check out the blog and send in pics of your boyfriend reading so I can fantasize about him too.

Naked Men, Happy Women

gah! i dont even have to  do a write up on this blog, Naked Men, Happy Women

just look at these and then go there.

they even have a naked man of the week post

gah!

For You I Keep My Legs Apart

digging this song so hard right now !

Funny Lady

In November Tina Fey will be awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American humor, the most prestigious humor prize in the country. Hells yeah! Fey, 40, is the youngest comedian to be honored and just the third woman (after Lily Tomlin and Whoopie Goldberg). Fey released a statement saying she's psyched and that Betty White must have been "disqualified for steroid use."

Fey has been a PoolBoy favorite since her days writing (first woman head writer, what what!) and performing on SNL. Plus, who doesn't love a lady who came up in Chicago's Second City improv group (yay Illinois!)? Fey's work on NBC's 30 Rock, which is probably the funniest show on TV right now, has provided our generation with a shit ton of hilarious one liners like, "I'm Lizzing!," "ROBOT PENIS," "never go with a hippie to a second location," and "didn’t you tell me to live every week like it’s Shark Week? And that nothing’s impossible except dinosaurs?" among many, many others, which can be heard constantly in homes and retail establishments across the country. She's fucking funny.

I've included one of my favorite SNL Weekend Update clips below, the notorious "Bitch is the New Black." Jump to 1:29.



Now, however you feel about Hilary Clinton, Fey's humor in this clip is witty and to the point: we had a serious female candidate for President and the media was sexist as shit while trying to discredit her. Call her a bitch? Yeah, she IS a bitch, and so are many strong women who have to speak their minds to a society rife with sexism. Clinton didn't get the nomination and Obama is now our President, but Clinton made miles and miles of new road on America's way to it's first female President, just as Tina Fey has for feminism (she dares to use the word on TV!) and women in comedy.

Congrats, Liz Lemon, you deserve the hell out of this award.

(USA Today / NBC)

just put your lips together and blow

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA

Anti-Birth control pharmacy closes doors due to lack of funds