Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Hot Athletes

There has been an ongoing conversation between the pool girls about what sport produces the hottest athlete bodies. Here and now we shall put this debate to rest.

Obvs some sports were thrown out from the beginning:

golf - no one looks hot in those pants.
bowling - is that even a sport?
skiing - you can't see their bodies, though I'm sure they have awesome legs.
weight lifting - dudes get way too meaty.

Other sports we considered but threw out for different reasons:

tennis - yes that young dude that dated Mandy Moore was pretty hot and tennis works the whole body but other sports just produced more hotties. Sorry Sampras fans.
football - hells yes these dudes are hot and there is much nice ass to be checked out during NFL games. Yet, aside from the occasional kicker, football players are a bit too beefcake for my taste. Though I will keep looking at those butts.
rugby - These dudes usually get too buff as well. They get points for the majority of the hot ones being Aussies though. Everyone wants to bang a dude with an accent, am I right? Also:


Here we come to the finalists.

Soccer - These dudes have finesse with the ball, are able to change speeds quickly, and can be pretty rough. Makes you wonder what they'd be like in bed. Plus, soccer uses the whole body so the athletes get ripped everywhere without being overly beefcake. Some examples:


Thanks, Posh.

Who is this guy? I don't know but he's hot.

And finally, I give you, the Italian soccer team:

Mama mia!

Hold on though, there are still some serious challengers.

Like, Basketball - These dudes are tttaallll as hell and have amazing arms and nice legs from all that sprinting. You still see the ocassaional hefty dude for ladies who love some softness. Really it's the height and insane arms that do it for me.


KG getting it done for Boston.

Tony Parker loses points for playing for the Spurs and being French but he's still pretty cute. Nice butt too.

Overall Basketball is out of the finals for not making NBA players wear these shorts anymore.

A little old school Stockton for the lady of leisure.

But wait! Now that basketball has been thrown out we have another serious contender...

Swimming - Have you ever swam competitively? Holy hell is it a workout. Your whole body is pushed. You get crazy long muscular legs and your arms get all firm and well jeez, do I even have to talk about swimmer's abs? Insane. Swimmers can hold their breaths forever (hello staying downtown until the lady gets hers!), don't mind getting wet (bowchingawowow), and spend most of their time in little speedos. Also they're usually pretty tall (heart tall boys!). Here's some swimmer eye candy:

Did you think I would start this with anyone other than pot smoking hottie Michael Phelps? I've heard he's a slut (who wouldn't be with that body?) and not the best in bed (sad face) but I'd still hit it and I bet you would too. Do you think he's pushing that lady hand away or about to push it down near those awful pelvic tattoos? He's all, "no, the gold medal is further south..."


Remember Aussie Ian Thorpe? He may play for the other team but dude is still pretty hot.

And...one more Michael Phelps just for good measure...

God Bless America.


So what say you? Are we missing any obvious sports? Cycling perhaps? We probably should have included runners but sometimes those dudes get too skinny and the last thing I want to think about during bone time is how my man friend's legs look thinner than mine.

Soccer players vs swimmers, what will be the ultimate hot body sport? I can't quite decide myself. This might have to end in a tie...

4 comments:

  1. I loves me some John Stockton in those daisy dukes

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  2. hmm. hockey has some cute dudes but usually they're a bit big for my taste. also, from all the classes i had with hockey players in college, i'm going to say a lot of them are dumb as bricks. and sometimes missing teeth.

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  3. omg u idiots. hottest athletes come from surfing

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