Happy Women's History Month!

It's officially March, which means it's also Women's History Month. While March 8 is International Women's Day, in the US the whole of March is dedicated to celebrating the contributions American women have made in national history. In honor of Women's History Month I present to you some women to whom I am especially grateful.

Margaret Sanger


Alright, yes Sanger was involved with some fishy eugenics thought, as were many people at that point in history, but she also had a huge impact on birth control so that women could enjoy sex with less fear of pregnancy. She opened the first birth control clinic and formed the organization that would become Planned Parenthood. I propose that next time you swallow that BC pill, get your Nuvaring inserted, roll on that condom, or proceed right into sexy time without interruption thanks to your IUD, that you give a little mental thanks to Sanger. Without her sex wouldn't be nearly as safe or fun.

Juliette Gordon Low


Although Gordon Low had a privileged childhood, her marriage was not a happy one and when her husband died after 18 years of marriage he left the majority of his estate to his mistress. Talk about a dick move. Gordon Low was not a lady to be set back however, and, firmly latching onto the idea that "success is the best revenge," she set up the Girl Scouts of America after meeting the founder of the Boy Scouts. The original gathering of girls to talk about their feelings, boys, crafts, charity, pop culture, and domesticity, the Girl Scouts were, and are, about self-reliance, independence, and a willingness to help others. And not only did the Girl Scouts prepare girls for traditional domestic life, but also for a possible professional life. Many Pool Girls were undoubtedly Girl Scouts back in the day, and I, for one, credit Girl Scouts for teaching me how to build a fire, dig a latrine, and generally be a bad ass lady.

Sandra Day O'Connor


The first woman to serve on the Supreme Court, Day O'Connor's vote was often instrumental in upholding a woman's right to abortion. Curious since she was nominated to the Court by Regan and was considered a moderately conservative Republican. Still, her presence on the highest judge panel in the United States was an important first for American women and her refusal to overturn Roe v. Wade signaled that women's health is an issue that effects all women, no matter the political affiliation.

Betty Dodson


Considered the mother of the sex positive feminist movement, Dodson's book Sex for One helped liberate masturbation. She began having erotic art shows in NYC in the late 1960's but soon left the art world to concentrate on women's health and pleasure. At the NOW Sexuality Conference in 1973 Dodson introduced the electric vibrator as a pleasure device. Also famed for her masturbation workshops, Dodson has written many articles and books on masturbation and women's pleasure. When you get your copy of PoolBoy Magazine in the mail and are able to sneak away for some private time, remember what Dodson did for female masturbation and maybe dedicate your next solo O to this important lady.


Some more contemporary ladies that I am thankful for: Kathleen Hanna, bell hooks, Debbie Stoller, Joani Blank, Judy Chicago, Kate Chopin, Hillary Rodham Clinton, and the Guerrilla Girls.

Who are you celebrating for Women's History Month?

Beaten to the Bong

It was with excitement and a little disappointment that I learned from Jezebel about Best Buds, a girl stoner movie in the works staring Natalie Portman. I say I felt a little disappointment only because the lovely lady of leisure and I had been working on something similar (and I don't mean just being best buds and smoking a lot of weed, though we do that as well). Best Buds is apparently a stoner lady movie with "a road trip and a wedding at its center, with female friends hitting the road to cure a bride friend's woes with weed."

It's so nice to see movies with female comedians as the stars and also to see the myth about ladies not liking green dispelled in a big public way. Best Buds screenwriter Jamie Denbo feels the same way, and she realized it watching Knocked Up:

The galvanizing moment for Denbo was the scene in Knocked Up when Katherine Heigl's character makes Seth Rogen's give up his bong. "It just seemed like a metaphor of, 'Put down the bong and we can get married.' That's not how it goes in my house. It's more like, 'Hey, you're pregnant, maybe stop smoking weed for fucking five minutes," jokes Denbo, who is the mother of two. "That was never the women that I knew."

Lady speaks the truth! Denbo also knows what's up concerning dick jokes:

...dick jokes may have reached their peak. "They've gotten to a point with dick jokes that now they have to show a dick for it to be funny," says Denbo, pointing to Jason Segal in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

I dream of the day when almost every big actor has shown his dick in a movie, like most women now with their breasts. If it's gotten to the point where ya gotta show some peen now to get laughs from a dick joke then we are well on our way.

Back to Best Buds, I'm glad someone has finally made a stoner chick movie. Fingers crossed that it lives up to such classics as How High and Harold and Kumar, just with dicks instead of all the boobs.

Speaking of funny ladies and weed, remember Garfunkel and Oates?

Vampires give me a Boner

If you've been reading the PoolBoy blog at all you are probably aware that I'll use any excuse to post pics of R-Patz. NPR recently offered me another opportunity when they wrote this Bloody Book List. And it's not just a vampire reading list (though there is a pretty good one at the end), but an article about how one can know what's happening at a certain point in history by checking out the vampire lit of the time. Don't believe me?

Take Bram Stoker's Dracula.

"It was written at the end of the 19th century, at a time when England had some of the largest ports in the world," says Benita Blessing, who teaches modern European history at Ohio University. "Here you have a ship arriving from Eastern Europe, bearing soil from another country, and a plague-like person who is going to bring death and destruction. The concerns at that time were foreign illnesses, unwanted immigrants. What Dracula is about is the fear of what we might today call globalization."

That's just the first example. The article discusses Anne Rice's vamp novels, Whitley Strieber's The Hunger, and the current wave of blood sucking books like Mormon Meyer's Twilight series and Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse novels

So what does the recent infatuation with deadly immortals tell us about the national subconscious today? Well, in both Twilight and the Sookie Stackhouse series the main vampire characters try to deny their animal instincts and be more moral, in an attempt to be more human. Vampires, even Sookie's Bill Compton, are predators, but then again, so are humans. Dracula wasn't concerned about mainstreaming or following a set of moral rules. So why does Edward Cullen care about weather he drinks the blood of an animal or a human?

Apparently it's because humans are killing the Earth and we feel really bad about it. According to Whitley Strieber:

"Our prey is our planet," he says. Today's fear is not the Cold War or AIDS, it's the fate of the Earth: "We sense that there is something wrong with the environment, that the planet itself may not be able to sustain us very long, and so we are beginning to romance death once again."

I buy it. It seems that vampires, who usually represent fear of death, appear in literature to reflect what the major fear of the time is, from immigration, to disease, to the uncertainty at the end of the Cold War, to pollution. If you are into vampires or how literature reflects culture and what's happening in the world, this article is a must read.

I'll leave you with a little Eric from True Blood to get you through the day.



Have a good Tuesday, biznatches.

I like big dicks

 

  

 

and i cannot lie

I love cake

Via feministe.

DIY Your Own Lube

Hey ladies, we all know that we make our own lube on a daily basis but sometimes you need/want more than what your body is producing. That's where making your own DIY lube comes in. Many commercial lubes use crazy, non-FDA regulated or approved, chemicals, not unlike some of the chemicals used in anti-freeze and brake fluid. Stay away from commercial lubes that contain Propylene glycol, parabens, and synthetic fragrances!

I'll be the first to admit that I often refer to my beautiful cunt as a well-oiled machine, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be putting anti-freeze or brake fluid all up in there.

Many fabulous, female-owned and oriented sex product stores like Toys in Babeland are now starting to offer new eco-friendly personal lubricants like Babeland Naturals Organic Lube and Good Clean Love.

But for the DIY-on-the-go gal such as myself, it's more fun and economical to make your own lube.

Here's what you need to do to be slipping and sliding in no time:

Ingredients
1 pot for boiling
2 cups of water
2.5 Tbsp of flax seeds (you can get this at most grocery stores or health foods stores)
20 minutes of your lovely time
a stove or hot plate for boiling

DIY-it
1 - Pour the 2 cups of water into the pot and bring to a boil on your stovetop
2 - Add the 2.5 tbsp of flax seeds to the boiling water and simmer the seeds for about 20 minutes or until the water is reduced by half
3 - Strain out the solid flax seeds immediately after 20 minutes
4 - Let your lube cool so it's safe to use and enjoy!

You can store the lube in a reusable container in your fridge for up to 2 weeks. Un-refridgerated lube should only be used for up to two days after making it.

Don't forget to give your lube a special, sexy name and if you're feeling extra crafty and foxy, a sexy label! I call mine "Doris Miller's Sexy Anti-Freeze for the Well-Oiled Machine"

For those more visual learners, Grist.org's eco-diva Umbra Fisk has a new video that shows you how it's done:

Your brain on Durex

At first I thought these new Durex ads were pretty sweet. They're so simple and sometimes when having sex it can feel like one's whole body is just a sea of single thoughts. But some of the thoughts on these ads are a little creepy. I get the "tasty" in her throat and "satisfied" and "contented" running up her legs and even the "fruit" that her loins are thinking (and "tousled" in her hair is great), but what's with her boobs thinking "boobs" over and over? My boobs are usually thinking "touch me!" when I find myself in this position.

And what's with the dude's body mostly thinking "fatal error" while his man parts suddenly become "intelligence" and "wisdom"? I haven't met a lot of dudes whose dicks struck me as suddenly wise and intelligent when they found said cock in my mouth.

Want to see what ladies are thinking when we're actually getting some deep dicking? The Sexist breaks down how female orgasms happen in mythological afterlives while Jezebel takes us through where "confused" comes in while ladies ride on top (see below).

"The most annoying thing about these ads is that they have the potential to be really good - if they made a little more sense. The female body is shown as a complex textbook of emotions, while men are reduced to one single thought (or less). Naturally, Krahne wants to play up the sexy part of sex, but wouldn't it be funnier if the oral sex-woman was thinking about "suction," "teeth," "knee pain" or if we wanted to be really honest, "this condom tastes like a Fruit Roll-Up that has been sprayed with Lysol." Also, we appreciate that it takes a certain about of strain to maintain that position for men, but it's not exactly a cakewalk for us either. Finally, maybe instead of "confusion," a woman on the brink of an orgasm could be shown thinking "hells yes!" or at the very least "don't stop." " (Jezebel)

Fuck yeah, hairy pits!

Seriously, so sexy. And I know that ya'll love hairy pits on babes too, because when I posted about Mo'Nique's sexy ass hairy legs we got crazy hits. You'd be surprised how many people search "hairy women" or "hairy armpits women."

So check out the hairy pits club, cuz that shit is hot hot hot.

HPV Vaccine for Dudes Too!

Remember a few years back when you spent a shitload (or had your insurance spend a shitload) on the HPV vaccine, otherwise known as Gardasil? Now your boyfriend can get vaccinated too! That's right kiddies, Gardasil is now approved for boys and men between the ages of 9 and 26 (after that you probably already have HPV, sorry). Here are some deets:

"Just Out!!! Gardasil, the vaccine that protects girls and women from genital warts and cervical cancer has been approved for boys and men. Genital warts, cervical cancer, and some cancers of the penis, scrotum, anus, and throat are caused by certain types of human papilloma virus (HPV). While the vaccine may not protect boys and men against all HPV types that can cause these cancers, it does protect them against the two HPV types (types 6 and 11) that cause 90 percent of genital warts in the U.S."

Tell your boyfriend to get his shots now or his penis will fall off. Also, parents watch out, this will probably make your son into a super slut.

saturday night all right

Why Aren't The Networks Picking Up Any Pilots Created By Women?

(Amy Sherman-Pallidino, creator of The Gilmore Girls, with star Lauren Graham)

Jezebel asks, "Why Aren't the Networks Picking Up Any Pilots Created By Women?" And it's a good question, though it does explain a few things (like Big Love).

Apparently, "3 out of 33 comedy scripts that went to pilot were written by women. That is 9%," while only "6 out of 36 drama scripts went to pilot were written by women. That is 16%." In case you're bad at math, those numbers aren't pretty.

So what's the deal? Are we still dealing with a boys club in Hollywood? How else do you explain this ridiculousness (from WomenandHollywood.com):

NBC had no comedies written by women and Fox had no dramas written by women
HBO had one female written pilot in two years. FX nothing. Lifetime nothing. USA nothing.

To quote Jezebel's hortense,"LIFETIME! Television for motherfucking women! In the words of Angelina from Jersey Shore: "Um, hello?!?"

Um, hello!?!? indeed.

The CBS Super Anti-Choice Bowl

Have you all been hearing about this?
That powerful television network CBS is hosting the Super Bowl this year.

We all know that it's fun to watch the multi-million dollar ads during the super bowl show. And CBS's long held policy is that they won't air ads that take sides on controversial issues like gun control, gay marriage etc. In fact, in the past, CBS has turned down advocacy ads it deemed controversial, including ads from MoveOn.org and the progressive United Church of Christ.

HOWEVER.
Apparently attacks on women's rights is not a controversial issue and the network has accepted several million dollars (CBS charges 2.5-2.8 million for a 30second spot) from Focus on the Family (aptly named because women have never focused on their families) to air an anti-choice ad during this years Super Bowl.

CBS has cleared the way to subject nearly 100 million people to Focus on the Family’s extreme agenda by agreeing to air its new anti-choice ad during the Super Bowl. This ad reportedly promotes the decision of one woman to go against her doctor's advice to terminate an at-risk pregnancy, as the right decision that all women should make.

Focus on the Family has an unmistakable anti-choice, anti-birth-control, anti-sex-education, and anti-gay rights agenda. If that wasn’t bad enough, its views on women are just plain insulting and dangerous. For example, its web site urges women facing an unintended pregnancy to seek "wise advice” (presumably from them) because “the hormones and extreme emotions of pregnancy make reasonable decisions more difficult.”
Apparently you have the right to choose but only if it agrees with their agenda.


Hey you crazy dumb bitches, you're all nutso cuz you're preggers right? You can't make your own decisions! Don't eat that! You should be locked away in your house during your pregnancy! Let an extremist religious organization make the decisions for you!! We kill doctors!

Orphans not abortions!! amiright?!?

Super Bowl ads are already filled with a bunch of sexist commercials that completely ignore 50% of their customers/sports fans, reducing women to naggy girlfriends or T&A Beer holders, and now we have to watch an ad that tells us we're dumb and shouldn't be able to decide what we want for ourselves?

Do we really need anti-choice propaganda (or any politics) pushed in our faces during a football game? What happened to just watching a bunch of men run around on a big field in tights and jump on each other?

Here's where you can tell CBS to eat it:
Naral Petition to urge CBS to not run the ad or except money from hate groups

The Women's Media Center's Not Under The Bus Petition

NOW has an email form you can send to CBS

FYI:
Women are vastly under-represented in high-level decision making roles at the television networks (and pretty much all media outlets). Despite this disadvantage, NBC managed to make the right decision last year, refusing to run an anti-choice ad during the Super Bowl. Anti-choice forces are on the offensive. They don't want to help women make informed decisions -- they want to, in the words of Focus on the Family, make abortion "both illegal and unthinkable." We must stand up to their campaign to deny women their fundamental rights.

For re-tweeting:
Tweet: RT @womensmediacntr Tell @CBS and @NFL to scrap Focus on the Family's anti-choice #superbowl ad! #underthebus http://bit.ly/7Zs8jq

Please spread the word!

Very Bad Porn

VeryBadPorn.com. There really are no words. Except for these words (borrowed from verybadporn.com):

"THREE PEOPLE HAVING SEX IS THE CHARM

So this guy is walking down the street, and out of NOWHERE he sees these two girls and they are so hot, both of them are incredibly hot. They just walk over to him and are like: “want to have sex in the park with us with condoms?” He’s like “YEAH!” because it’s going to be awesome because it’s sex with two girls at once, but he’s using protection so it’s pretty safe to have casual sex. Although he had heard that a condom is not 100% preventitive, it’s pretty close, and he really wants to have sex with these two random girls because it’s a threesome and also it’s totally random. They both look pretty clean too, although he totally knows from ads and stuff that you can’t tell just by looking at someone, but everyone makes that initial judgment. So they go behind a park building and start having sex, and they are loving it. They’re all having sex with each other in all the different combinations possible, and then a park ranger is like “Hey get out of here!” And they say “want to join the party” actually the girls say that, and he says “No! I’m a Park Ranger, I’m on duty, and my responsibility is to make sure these parks are appropriate for people to enjoy on this Sunday afternoon and every day that I work here.” So they get dressed real quick and then all go to work. He promises not to run over and over in his mind if those girls were slutty, and if they may have STDs, because he can’t tell, and it’s too late now, he already made the decision to have sex with them, so it doesn’t do anything to just keep running it over and over in his mind. He shouldn’t have had casual sex in the first place, he knows that, but it was one of his fantasies and who knows if he’ll ever have another chance to do it again? It’s hard with stuff like that.

-Chelsea"

Panties wet yet? And the pictures are just as good.

Someone buy me this verybadporn shirt.

Three Feminist Leaders Killed in Haitain Earthquake

More sad news coming out of Haiti:

CNN reports that Haitian leaders Myriam Merlet, Magalie Marcelin and Anne Marie Coriolan were among the over 100,000 killed in the devastating earthquake that struck Haiti this month.

If you haven't already, please dontate what you can to relief organizations, especially organizations that provide relief for women and children.  Women and girls suffer the most in crisis situations because of social inequity.

Here are some organizations to donate to:
Diaspora - A U.S. Haitian Refugee Organization
Doctors Without Borders
Partners in Health
Save the Children


CNN) -- One returned to her Haitian roots, to give voice to women, honor their stories and shape their futures. Another urged women to pack a courtroom in Haiti, where she succeeded in getting a guilty verdict against a man who battered his wife. A third joined the others and helped change the law to make rape, long a political weapon in Haiti, a punishable crime.

Myriam Merlet, Magalie Marcelin and Anne Marie Coriolan, founders of three of the country's most important advocacy organizations working on behalf of women and girls, are confirmed dead -- victims of last week's 7.0 earthquake.

And their deaths have left members of the women's movement, Haitian and otherwise, reeling.

"Words are missing for me. I lost a large chunk of my personal, political and social life," Carolle Charles wrote in an e-mail to colleagues. The Haitian-born sociology professor at Baruch College in New York is chair of Dwa Fanm (meaning "Women's Rights" in Creole), a Brooklyn-based advocacy group. These women "were my friends, my colleagues and my associates. I cannot envision going to Haiti without seeing them."

Myriam Merlet was until recently the chief of staff of ...

American Nipples Severely Under-Clamped

 

THE ONION—A new study released this week by the U.S. Bureau of Masochism has concluded that American nipples are critically under-clamped, bolstering long-held suspicions that the nation is rapidly losing interest in the thin, delectable line between pleasure and pain.

According to the study, which surveyed a wide swath of citizens who have been very, very bad, 78 percent of all U.S. nipples are not being pinched, tweaked, or otherwise constricted in a severe enough manner. In addition, the study found that nearly 90 percent of all Americans are not currently down on their hands and knees, begging for more.

"The vast majority of U.S. citizens are just not receiving the physical punishment they deserve," said Masochism Bureau director Geoff Knowlton, who was permitted by his mistress, Alexandria, to meet with reporters despite being unfit for anything but groveling at her boot heels. "Unless something is done—whether with a riding crop, a stiff wooden paddle, or a series of humiliating commands to bark like a dog—this problem will only get worse."

"We are sniveling, spineless