Awkward Boners

You know when you wake up in the morning feeling frisky and turn over to your man to initiate a love fest and notice that he's already got some morning wood ready for you? That's a surprise blessing boner. In contrast, when you're in class and you lean over to get a peak at your crush and notice that he's got a tent pitched in his shorts while your old man professor pontificates on the merits of Milton, that's an awkward boner. Don't get me wrong, Milton rules, but worthy of a classroom boner? I think not.

Did you know there's a whole blog dedicated to awkward boners? I didn't but I'm sure as hell glad I do now. They even have a feature where you can vote on if the boner is understandable or awkward!

In celebration of the season of swimming and sun, I bring you some photos of awkward summer boners from the awkward boners blog.

Beach boners are hard (ha ha!) because there are so many scantily clad ladies around. I can almost understand this wood.

Falling asleep after viewing so many bikinis has gotta lead to sweet dreams. As evidenced here.

This kid probably got a boner from seeing his own hot body in the pool mirror. That or he just kicked someone's ass in the 100 breast stoke.

(For T-bag)

This Just In: Women Want More Sex

all i can say is DUH

 According to a Pacific Magazines survey that will be published in tomorrow's Men's Health and Women's Health magazines, women want sex nearly as often as men. The research asked nearly 10,000 Australian men and women between the ages of 25 and 45 about their sex and romantic lives.


The results suggest that nearly one-third of women want sex every day in comparison to 40 percent of men. However, only 25 percent have sex weekly and a measly 20 percent have sex just once per month!
In terms of getting in the mood, one third of men and women enjoy a romantic dinner and the many (66 percent of women and 50 percent of men) list dancing as a sexual mood-enhancer.  A total of 62 percent of men and 52 percent of women claim that spending a romantic night in is the best way to set the mood for a night of passion.

Sadly, 38 percent of women feel that foreplay is too rushed and 35 percent of men are disappointed by the fact that women do not initiate sex. Over half of all respondents reported that the one thing they really want is to be seduced by a partner. Despite some complaints, participants seemed open to sexual experimentation with two-thirds reporting that they would watch porn or engage in role-play games with a partner.

(reblogged via Carnal Nation)

Knickersoaker!

YES! This lovely Canadian blog is all about hot dudes! Thank you ladies!!

Love this little blurb about Joseph Gordon-Levitt:

While this picture isn’t the most flattering I’ve seen on Mr. Gordon-Levitt, who the fuck cares? Kid, while you’re “shooting up in Canada” come over to Vancouver Island for a “visit” and let me have all you babies. I know you’re in Vancouver, don’t even front. I have people who saw you eating at one of my favorite restaurants. Come serenade me a-la your “monologue” on SNL, and I’ll show you my own personal version of one of Canada’s iconic animals (it’s a beaver, people!).

i heart Canadians

Very Bad Porn

VeryBadPorn.com. There really are no words. Except for these words (borrowed from verybadporn.com):

"THREE PEOPLE HAVING SEX IS THE CHARM

So this guy is walking down the street, and out of NOWHERE he sees these two girls and they are so hot, both of them are incredibly hot. They just walk over to him and are like: “want to have sex in the park with us with condoms?” He’s like “YEAH!” because it’s going to be awesome because it’s sex with two girls at once, but he’s using protection so it’s pretty safe to have casual sex. Although he had heard that a condom is not 100% preventitive, it’s pretty close, and he really wants to have sex with these two random girls because it’s a threesome and also it’s totally random. They both look pretty clean too, although he totally knows from ads and stuff that you can’t tell just by looking at someone, but everyone makes that initial judgment. So they go behind a park building and start having sex, and they are loving it. They’re all having sex with each other in all the different combinations possible, and then a park ranger is like “Hey get out of here!” And they say “want to join the party” actually the girls say that, and he says “No! I’m a Park Ranger, I’m on duty, and my responsibility is to make sure these parks are appropriate for people to enjoy on this Sunday afternoon and every day that I work here.” So they get dressed real quick and then all go to work. He promises not to run over and over in his mind if those girls were slutty, and if they may have STDs, because he can’t tell, and it’s too late now, he already made the decision to have sex with them, so it doesn’t do anything to just keep running it over and over in his mind. He shouldn’t have had casual sex in the first place, he knows that, but it was one of his fantasies and who knows if he’ll ever have another chance to do it again? It’s hard with stuff like that.

-Chelsea"

Panties wet yet? And the pictures are just as good.

Someone buy me this verybadporn shirt.

The Most Expensive Meal You Will Ever Eat

James Franco Shaves His Armpits For Your Gucci

and loves to cuddle

I want him to be my fuck toy

BFs Forevah

Once during college I played an icebreaker game called "I've Never.."

The game makes a group of people sit in a large circle. One person stands in the middle and says "I've never..." and says something they have never done (gone skydiving, shoplifted, been to Paris, blah blah blah). Everyone in the circle who has done the act has to get up and run to another chair. Everyone who has not, stays seated. The person left standing without a chair is the new middle person and must say something they have never done, and the game continues.

On this particular night, after a few boring rounds, I was left in the middle.

Unable to contain myself, I blurted out:
"I've never snorted coke off my boyfriend's boner"

Everyone in the room froze except for one woman who jumped up to run to another chair.

And that's how I met my best friend Sarah.