Awkward Boners

You know when you wake up in the morning feeling frisky and turn over to your man to initiate a love fest and notice that he's already got some morning wood ready for you? That's a surprise blessing boner. In contrast, when you're in class and you lean over to get a peak at your crush and notice that he's got a tent pitched in his shorts while your old man professor pontificates on the merits of Milton, that's an awkward boner. Don't get me wrong, Milton rules, but worthy of a classroom boner? I think not.

Did you know there's a whole blog dedicated to awkward boners? I didn't but I'm sure as hell glad I do now. They even have a feature where you can vote on if the boner is understandable or awkward!

In celebration of the season of swimming and sun, I bring you some photos of awkward summer boners from the awkward boners blog.

Beach boners are hard (ha ha!) because there are so many scantily clad ladies around. I can almost understand this wood.

Falling asleep after viewing so many bikinis has gotta lead to sweet dreams. As evidenced here.

This kid probably got a boner from seeing his own hot body in the pool mirror. That or he just kicked someone's ass in the 100 breast stoke.

(For T-bag)

How to Swim When You are on Your Period

When I was on the swim team in high school there was one freshman girl that would sit out a couple practices every month. I always thought she was special but when I asked her what the deal was she said she was on her period and it was against her religion to use tampons. Now, I don't know what religion says stuffing cotton up your vag is a sin, but I do know that said freshman never beat me in a race. For any ladies out there who are bleeding right now and want to jump in some water, this wiki link will help you figure out how you can still swim while on the rag (because, honestly, "women have been in and around water since there have been women").

If anyone is giving you a hard time, remember:

1. Just Say:"I don't want to swim right now because I'm on my period". If everyone present is female, they'll probrably understand. If you're in mixed company, the boys will probably be too embarrassed to give you a hard time about it. (Although you're also perpetuating the myth that a menstruating woman can't swim, or horrible but ill-defined things will happen.)

The super informative article also says that it is extremely rare for menstruating women to be attacked by sharks. In case you were wondering.