Phoenix NUDE Times Feature on PoolBoy!

Check out the Phoenix New Times Feature on PoolBoy Magazine!

Radness!

photo by Miss Atomic Photography

and FYI ladies, our very special, 1st issue of PoolBoy Magazine is set to be released this August! Can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dirty Poems Pt. II

My lady Jamie is a poet to be reckoned with. Below is another of her dirty ghazals, entitled:


A Plea from a Rejected Fuck Buddy (m)


I hear what you’re saying, but look down at my penis.

You know how well I can wield this penis.

Our repetitively secret one-night trysts

are like Miracle-Gro to my penis.

Imagine the muscles, the angles, the places you’ve kissed.

They’re nothing compared to where I’ve stuck my penis.

We could welcome a third—I have a list—

as long as there are boobies and no penis.

I’ll go to dinner without hand-holding, if you get the gist.

Just know I’m open to those hands gripping my penis.

You’re busy? But baby, I won’t use my fist

like I did before. I’ll use my penis.

You’re trying to make me jealous. I pretend I haven’t been dissed.

Good luck, I’ve seen him in the bathroom with his baby penis.

I, the Rejected Fuck Buddy, hate it when I’m not missed.

I’ll meet your friends, I’ll go on dates! Come back to my penis.

America The Beautiful

So Condomania, a custom condom and sex toy retailer, just released some data on America's penis sizes.

According to Condomania, they collected data from their sales database from over 27,000 men and have presented their findings by city and state.  I know what all you smart ladies are thinking, how do we know their measurements are, uh, accurate? Men tend to overestimate (roundup!) their specs amiright?

Well Condomania is in the business of accurate cock measurments because they invented the custom-fit condom, TheyFit.  Just like with our bras, many men end up wearing the wrong size condoms and the major brands of condom sizes aren't that varied (Regular, Large, XXL? What is this Communist Russia!!??!).

Condomania was all "duh" and decided to be like that old lady in the bra store that will custom fit you a bra.  Customers at Condomania go online (discreetly) and can fill out a measuring form that will give them an accurate size description and from there they can choose from over 76 condom sizes. 76!?!? That's right, one size fits all doesn't really work for cock and nor should it.  We want our poolboys to be safe and comfortable and having just as much as fun as we are, don't we?

But back to this data!  This is science folks!

Guess not everything's big in Texas because Dallas-Fort Worth ranked as the city with the smallest dicks.

And not to brag or anything but Phoenix is ranked in the top 5 cities for largest dick size.  Come on down to our cock banaza in the desert and get your fill ladies.

Oh and the number 1 city? New Orleans!  Is that spicy gumbo in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

here some other highlights from their study:

* Top Ranking State by Average Penis Size: New Hampshire
* Lowest Ranking State by Average Penis Size: Wyoming [Utah is #2 lowest.]
* Top Ranking U.S. City by Average Penis Size: New Orleans
* Second Highest Ranking City (just behind N.O.): Washington, D.C.
* Lowest Ranking City by Average Penis Size: Dallas/Ft. Worth
* Blue States vs Red States: Blue States’ Average Penis Size is Bigger.
* Penises Come in a Wide Range of Sizes: The Smallest Penises are Less Than 3″ in Length and the Largest Penises are Longer Than 10″ in Length
* Penis Sizes Chart Almost a Perfect Bell Curve: 25% of the Male Population is Under 5″ in Length, 50% are Between 5″ and 6″ in Length and 25% are Longer than 6″ in Length

(reblogged from our girl Violet Blue)

But I have to ask our readers, is it wrong to want to see which city has the biggest dicks and which city has the smallest? 

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

A couple weeks ago I was lucky enough to attend the Chelsea Handler show at the Dodge Theater in PHX (for free nonetheless!). I've been a fan of Ms. Handler since seeing her TV show Chelsea Lately. The lady is quick. She always gets the last word and usually that word is pretty hilarious. She's got a new book out, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang (and yes, I just linked to GoodReads, fuck that huge online bookseller that pushes indie bookstores out of business), from which much of the material at her live show was based.



A girl after my own heart, Ms. Handler went on a huge spiel about how gross balls are ("I can understand wanting to get fucked but who goes out thinking, 'I can't wait to get my mouth around some balls!'?") and then reenacted discovering "the feeling" at her first sleepover at age 8. How can you not love a woman who learns to masturbate at 8 but thinks she's the only one that knows about this magical power and so has the inside balls to do it at the dinner table?

If you get a chance to see Ms. Handler on the road I highly recommend it. Otherwise just read the book, or her collection of one night stands, My Horizontal Life.

Ladies Porn Night

So PoolBoy Magazine just hosted it's first ever Ladies Porn Night this past Friday night at the Pool House.

We had a blast. We had wine, hors d'œuvres, green, and porn.

While waiting for Ophelia Bachs to arrive with the porn vidoes, we started the night off with watching a short feminist art movie by some ASU students called "Hysteria: A History", which was interesting and cool.

Then we got down to business and watched some porn. We watched:

Constance
Five Hot Stories for Her
All About Anna
Twinks
Marie & Jack (Comstock Films)
Ashley & Kisha (Comstock Films)

While watching the videos we ask our ladies what they thought about specific scenes, the appearances of the male and female actors, if they'd fap to the video, if they'd go out and buy the video, and overall their impression.

The whole night was very interesting and fun. It was really cool to discuss porn with a bunch of women and see what people liked and disliked. And it was interesting to hear about people's experience levels with pornography. For one of our attendees, that was the first time she had ever seen a porn video! PoolBoy Magazine was glad to be her first.

Look for the full write up from our first Ladies Porn Night in the first issue of PoolBoy Magazine!

We're almost ready to print this first issue and we're really excited!

Looks Like We're in the Right Place for Porn!

I just saw this article in the Phoenix New Times about porn being made in the valley of the scum. They don't mention PoolBoy (yet!!!) but it does look like we're in the right city for creating some sin.

Risqué Business: the Valley of the Sun May Be the Next Porn Capital of the World

by Niki D'Andrea

Masturbating Wall

R.I.P. Masturbating Wall

You are missed.

Music in Unusual Places

We’ve all been to the club or stadium (Bon Jovi anyone?) to see our favorite bands play and thanks to the internet we can hear and download new music, albums and more from our favorite shizz.

But what about live performances? Sure, it’s nice to be able to watch Grizzly Bear play at the Pitchfork festival on youtube but the sound is usually shit and to be honest, if I wanted to watch a live performance of my fav band I would probably just go to their show (unless it’s a priceless performance like that time P.J. Harvey showed everyone her cooter on stage).

The current trend nowadays seems to be cool bands recording songs in unusual places. Think Daytrotter but in a taxi cab.

Here a list of some websites where you can check out video and audio of some of your favorite bands performing in unusual, intimate places:

Traintracks.org

This is a local Phoenix site featuring videos of musical acts performing on Phoenix’s brand new public transportation system, the Metro Light Rail. Viewers can vote on their favorite performances and each video has a short bio on the musical act . It’s cool to see bands performing on the trains while passengers, unaware of what’s going on, are getting on and off at stops. I also really like how the bands are videotaped sitting next to regular riders. Some of my favorite videos on this site are from Nowhere Man and Whiskey Girl, the Phoenix Downtown Chamber Series, Miniature Tigers, Andrew Jackson Jihad, and Fatigo.

Black Cab Sessions

Features some of the more established bands like Calexico, My Morning Jacket, and The Macabees playing in taxi cabs in the U.K. The taxi cabs are driving around and the bands get one chance to play one song. It’s fun to see how the performers respond to recording in such a unique and trying environment. Some do vocal checks before and during the songs, some mess up and keep going, some use their bodies as percussion instruments. One of my favorite videos on this site is Grizzly Bear’s performance of “All We Ask” from their new album Veckatimest. Their ability to harmonize in a moving vehicle in Shepherds Bush is amazing and they sound great. I’m also digging The New Pornographers, Baby Dee, and Bon Iver’s videos from this site.

Burn to Shine

Not a music website per se but it is a cool music project. Created by filmmaker Christoph Green and ex-Fugazi drummer Brendan Canty, the project involves finding a house that is about to be demolished in a random city, getting a well-known musician to curate a show at that house featuring a variety of bands from the area, and recording the performances via audio and video all in one day. The results are released on a DVD which is sold for under $15 on the website. So far they have released four volumes of the DVD featuring performances from Seattle, Louisville, Portland, Chicago and Washington D.C. Like I said, the bands and curator have a day to put on the show, which can feature up to 14 different musical acts. Their website features some teaser video of the sessions as well as behind the scenes photos and show layouts. Seattle’s the newest edition to the collection and features performances by Minus the Bear, The Long Winters, Kinski, and Jessie Sykes among many more. The video teasers look pretty rad and the recordings sound amazing.

Enjoy!

Pro-Choice Rally in Phoenix, June 26th!

Stand up for your rights! Sex is no fun when you don't get to choose.

From Planned Parenthood of Arizona:

Some Arizona legislators have made it their priority to use their office to restrict women’s reproductive choice in our state this legislative session. Thousands of YOUR emails and hundreds of YOUR phone calls have been ignored; now is the time to make sure that they DO hear us! The pro-choice voice in Arizona will be silenced no longer.

Planned Parenthood Arizona will be hosting a Rally for Choice on
Friday, June 26, in Phoenix.

Please join us to show your opposition to SB1206/HB2564, the omnibus anti-choice bill currently being pushed forward at the State Legislature. Join us for invigorating speeches by leaders in the pro-choice community and find out what YOU can do to protect women’s health in Arizona.

Our voices will be silenced no longer! We must show our elected officials that their pro-choice constituents care, are active, that we’re watching their votes on these bills. We believe we should be represented in the Legislature by leaders who stand up for Arizona citizen’s health.

Friday, June 26, 11:30 a.m. – 1:00 p.m.
Margaret T. Hance Park (1134 N. Central Ave.)
Phoenix, Arizona

It will be HOT out, so please bring plenty of water. Please wear sunscreen; hats and sunglasses are also recommended. Please come wearing a pink shirt; pink Planned Parenthood t-shirts will be available on a first-come, first serve basis. Snacks and water will also be available.

Thank you for your support. See you at the rally!

Gart Porn at the DBG

Last weekend we hit up the Desert Botanical Garden in phatass Phoenix. They are currently featuring a Chihuly glass exhibit.





You can tell what was on our minds.




boobs


condoms


tongues


peen


balls


vibrators




vag


more boobs


more peen


In case you are wondering how we feel about this garden art (gart):




We call this one, "zap a do bop zop zap a doo"



all photos by clitical sass and lady of leisure

I went out on a date with a guy that voted for McCain!!!!!!

MCCAIN.

MCCAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He's so cute though (the date, not McCain).....

I am at a crossroads. Can i convert him from the dark side?
I want to make out with him and check out his republican caucus.

I texted him this morning:"I had fun last night and, even though you voted for McCain, I would like to go out again sometime"

He texted back:"I had a good time last night too! We should definitely go out again and try not to hold that McCain thing against me "

I was going to text back:"Maybe you can hold something against me? "

but it's too early in the game for such talk.... so instead i texted:"Well since good triumphed over evil, I won't hold it against you. But FYI McCain has a horrible voting record on funding for veterans"

the date is an ex-military guy - so hot in a uniform.......

Maybe I can:

Check out his stimulus package
G.O.P. all over him
Search for W.M.D.s (and if we’re a code red on the Terrorist Threat Level Index then it will be time to invade and conquer)
Get a feel for his Republican Caucus
I'll give him the ole' reach across the aisle
Check out his pork barrel initiative

or he can:
Dick my Cheney
Vote for my Bush
Watch his economics trickle down my face
Filibuster all over me


HOWEVER, if he gets me preggers - i'm having an abortion!!!!!