Politicians I would Bang

This is a little bittersweet since ole boner jam Scott Brown has actually won Kennedy's Senate seat since I first wrote this post but whatevs. Republican...well, now Senator I guess....Scott Brown is one politician I would have banged back when he posed in this Cosmo nude spread.


Hells to the yeah! That's one Republican caucus I'd like to get my hands on.

Not to get deep after showing such fap material, but if Scott Brown was a woman running for a US Senate seat and this material surfaced, do ya think she'd have anywhere near as good a chance of winning as this dude does/did? I think not.

To Shave or Not to Shave

Apparently Mo'Nique blew everyone's minds at the Golden Globes the other night because she *gasp* DID NOT SHAVE HER LEGS. A woman having hairy legs is so crazy in this day and age that the New York Daily News wrote an article about it. Actually, there is some awesome stuff in the article, like how the headline asks if Mo'Nique is the "least superficial actress ever?" (although they make that sound like a bad thing).


I give total props to Mo'Nique for not being ashamed (she pulled up her long skirt on the runway to show off her au natural yams!) and for publicaly speaking out for natural body hair (on The View in 2006). However, I could have done without this comment:

"I really think hair on a woman's legs is a black woman's thing," she later added, after pointing out that she does shave under her arms to avoid "stink."

First, no way, hairy armpits on ladies are hot and do not stink unless you just got done running a marathon or something and then I'd argue that even hairless armpits would stink. Second, body hair is a human issue, I don't care if you're white, black, a tranny, or a Yankees fan.

Shall we discuss why American culture is so obsessed with women being hairless? I've heard before that women of the night shaved their armpits, legs, and public hair back when the west was still wild to prove to clients that they didn't have lice or crabs. I've also heard that getting women to shave was all a big marketing blight so that companies that sold hair removal products could make more money. So what is better, that a common cultural, sexist (why don't dudes shave their armpits if it's so unsanitary to let that shit grow?) practice originated from whores or that American women were duped by companies who wanted their dollars at the expense of their self esteem (people are still horrified when they see hairy pits, trust me. That can wreck havoc on a lady's sense of self worth if you let it.)? I'd say both those reasons are pretty lame. Shave if you want to or don't, it doesn't really matter. But let's stop the hating on ladies that chose to let it grow, shall we?

Oh, and I like how the Mo'Nique articles ends on such a catty, backhanded compliment:

"Love it or hate it, she's one actress you can't say is overly obsessed with her appearance."

Obviously hairy women is something the US is still trying to get a grip on. I, for one, say bravo to all the ladies out there that choose not to shave AND to show it off. Bravo, Mo'Nique, keep raising up that skirt! Oh, and congrats on that Golden Globe too!

Super Bangable

So I've just started watching that tv show Heroes (i know, what year is it?! 2004?!) and last night, as i leisurely lounged in front of the tv, my sister asked me which super power I would want out of all the super powers on the show.  This question got me thinking about super hot super hereos and which ones were bangable and which ones I would rather not see in tights.  I tend to always move important philosophical discussions towards the topic of sex, it's my super power.

Here's my list of Movie/TV Versions of Super Heroes That I would Totally Bang:

Batman

Definitely Michael Keaton (back in the day yo), definitely Christian Bale, probably George Clooney (a classic move) and maybe if I've had a few glasses of wine, Val Kilmer.
But most definitely Bruce Wayne.

Wolverine

Australians and sideburns have never been this sexy together.

Superman

RIP to the motherfucking classic.

Iron Man

Yes Robert Downey, Jr.  I will totally bang you.

Knight Rider

Would I bang back-in-the-day David Hasselhoff?

Sie wetteten doucheland!

 

The Human Torch

HOT.

I don't know your name, generic good looking actor, but I'd hit it.

Manimal

you bet your fucking ass

And here's a list of Movie/TV Versions of Super Heroes I Would Totally Give A Fake Number To:

Spiderman

 

Two words: Tobey Maguire

or one word: spiders

or this word: gross

Bibleman

I bet the sex is just awful.

Captain Nice

You mean Captain Nice Cameltoe

Who are your super bangable super heroes?

Kathleen Hanna's blog

is hilarious

Porn for the New World Order

2010 is going on!

and of course our first post of the new year is about porn!

Check out this Canadian-based female oriented porn company run by porn star extraordinaire Candida Royalle

Femme Productions  carries a good amount of videos including Royalle's own videos (Stud Hunters anyone?) as well as Afrodite Superstar, a porn directed by Venus Hottentot and featuring black and Latina actresses, which is nice to see in the cataglog amidst all the white porn.

Extra points for being able to order and watch the movies online!

New Year's Resolutions

Everyone's writing about their New Year's Resolutions.

Graphic designer Monina Velarde has created a New Year's Resolution Generator which is cool because it let's you click through a ton of resolutions and then promptly forget about them, much like in real life, but with the speed of the internet. Fuck writing that shit down.

For me, more than any resolution, New Year's Eve is like a Get Out of Jail Monopoly card.  It's a free pass to start over, no excuses.  It's a time marker, that's for sure, but a positive one.  If you're planning on losing weight this year (ladies of leisure don't need to unless it's medically advised), NYE is like a kick in the butt.  If you want to quit smoking (which you should, that shit is o'nast), you'll probably end up getting drunk tonight and smoking a shitload of cigarettes AND THEN QUITTING on the 1st.

Right?

One NYE, not so long ago, my resolution was to not get black-out drunk anymore (i was involved with some bad dick at the time and drinking the pain away, it happens).  Well i don't remember much of that new year's eve other than waking up the next day in my bathroom in only my coat and a puddle of vomit, but I haven't blacked out since.  Goddamn I'm better than that and all it took was a new year's eve to get me out of my slump.  Use and abuse it ladies, NYE is a time for redemption/rebirth/start overs.

Hamilton Wright Mabie sums it up best in this quote:
“New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no woman has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights”

So whether you're sitting on your couch or going out to get your party on tonight, have a safe and happy new year's eve and keep up the keeping up!

And never let the Horse of Judgement judge you from the 3rd floor:

P.S. PoolBoy Magazine's 2010 Resolutions are to put out our first issue (almost done!) and continue to be badass.

DIY in 2010

As we head into 2010 the economy is still lagging and times still hard for today's working lady. We need to get creative about finding jobs and other ways to survive and thrive. Think outside the box and all that crap. But if Meghann Rosales of Jug Wine comix can't find a job with this vesume than we're all screwed.



Check out the first issue of PoolBoy Magazine, coming spring 2010, to see more Jug Wine comix.

Happy Jonas Holidays

Happy Holidays! Be safe, just like the abstinence loving Jonas brothers:

Married Jonas Brother Says Sex Not Worth the Wait
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Just days after tying the knot after years of abstinence, Kevin Jonas of the pop sensation the Jonas Brothers stunned his teenaged fans by announcing that "to be honest about it, sex was not worth the wait."

"After we did it, I was kind of like, that's it?" Mr. Jonas told reporters at a New York press conference.

As to whether Mr. Jonas' bride agreed with his "that's it?" assessment, Mr. Jonas remarked, "That's what she said."

Merry XXXMas from PoolBoy Magazine

Hope all you naughty pool girls get lots of presents!

 

 

this what came up when i googled "naughty santa"

sorry

The Devil in Massive Attack

The new Massive Attack video for "Paradise Circus" is right up our alley. And it's not just because the video features clips of Georgina Spelvin talking about her career as a porn star interspersed with actual clips of her in films like "The Devil in Miss Jones." Ok, it's mostly for that reason (long live 70's porn body hair!) but the music is pretty nice as well. A commenter on stereogum said it the best, "Like all of Massive Attack's best work, it makes me want to smoke lots of pot."

The video is totes NSFW, as stereogum reminds you again and again.



Spelvin talking about her attempt at prostitution and that magical moment of orgasm.

Spelvin in her porn days.

Two questions: what's with the snake and why is everyone so sweaty?

Friday Night Hottie

It's been chilly in Phoenix. I'm not going to say "cold" because it doesn't really get "cold" here as the rest of the country would define the word. Still, on these chilly December nights, all I want to do is drink some wine by the fire and maybe watch something with a hot dude in it, something like Friday Night Lights. I've only seen the first 4 episodes of the third season of this TV drama about the politics of high school football in a small Texas town, but I've seen enough to know that the hottie quota has more than been filled by Taylor Kitsch, who plays party boy Tim Riggins.

Kitsch might not play a very good Gambit (dude is from Louisiana = he should have a hot accent), and I did worry that it may just be my propensity for losers (sorry, Tim Riggins is sort of a douche), but shirt or no shirt (and thankfully he does seem to lose his shirt a lot in the show) Taylor Kitsch is nice to look at on a cold winter's night.

Oh, you don't believe me? How do you like these apples, hmm?




I would def put a little Taylor Kitsch in my body.

Your Daily Hunk

This site is totally for gay men but I like to think that a site devoted to guys in their undies is really for everyone

just put it on mute and watch:



this one is fun (no need for mute!):

Tall Skinny Boy Salute

For Bontie.





(I'm pretty sure this is not really r-patz but it's a good photoshop job so what the heck)



I don't know why you tall skinny bastards exist, but I'm sure glad that you do.

The Spirits will be here

All this talk about New Moon (or Twilight 2 as our local theater called it) on this blog! But our collective culture can't help but want to sex up, hate, make fun of and then sex up again this tween drama and its hot male co-stars.

Here's a really funny video by Creek/Seminole director Sterlin Harjo of a spoof of the auditions for the New Moon 'Wolfpack'

tradish:

New Moon Wolf Pack Auditions from sterlinharjo on Vimeo.


Native dudes = hot to the max

Good Dick

I watched Good Dick this weekend and have been thinking about it ever since. It's the story of a nameless introverted woman (played by Marianna Palka who also wrote and directed the film) who spends her time watching soft core erotic movies and the homeless video store clerk (John Ritter) who is for some reason drawn to her.

The trailer makes it seem like the movie is a light hearted love story about lonely people. The lonely part is definitely right but I would not call it "light" in any sense of the word. Sure there are funny parts, but mostly it's the story of a really strange relationship where the man forces his way into the woman's claustrophobic life in order to force her to deal with whatever weird sexual experience she had in the past that made her so closed off.



The video store clerk, who is sleeping in his car, gets her address from her customer information and tries to set up a random run in with the woman only to scare her off. To be even more creepy he actually rings her doorbell and makes up a story about his great aunt who lives in the building dying. I don't blame the woman for holding a butcher knife when she finally relents and lets her in.

Their romantic relationship is built of cleaning, hair washing, and watching porn films together. The woman insults the man, yells at him, and is almost physically violent with him when he persists that they are in a relationship. The gender roles are reversed, she wants to be in control at all times and the dude is more than happy to cook dinner and clean the house without even the promise of sex. Sometimes when the woman would belittle the video store clerk while he almost begged for her to leave the house and meet his friends, I was reminded of shitty relationships I'd had in the past. By "in the past" I mean in like middle school and high school. But that's pretty much the level of romantic emotions that we're dealing with in these characters.

Yet somehow, in the end, Good Dick is actually a romantic comedy. I don't know how it happened with so much dysfunction flying around but despite all the porn, penis measuring, platonic sharing of beds, and faux humping, the movie actually works. So, props to Marianna Palka for creating something interesting and unnerving and hard to forget. See it, cause y'all like dick, right?