PoolBoy

We're moving this shizz!!!

2010-07-05T18:58:00.000-07:00

we've got our new website up and redesigned and it now features out infamous blog.

check it out: poolboymagazine.com

we'll be adding more neat-o stuff to it in the near future but we wanted to let you know, if you want more of your poolboy blog, you gotta go to poolboymagazine.com from now on.

rock on ladies,
Queen Dicktoria

King of the Urban Jungle

2010-07-01T15:50:00.000-07:00

Cake Wrecks

2010-06-29T15:38:00.000-07:00

I was so sad to hear that I wouldn't be in town when one of my favorite blogs visited my local indie bookstore for a signing. To help me get over this loss I've decided to post some of my favorite entries. The blog is Cake Wrecks and they've got a new book out which literally had my tearing up I was laughing so hard. The premise is simple: funny or weird cakes. Intrigued? I thought so.

Classic break up cake. You almost gotta respect someone who dumps you like this. At least they left you something to eat while crying.

I hope the cake giver wasn't also the herpes giver.

Now, you may be thinking, these cakes don't have anything to do with sex or naked dudes. And those above don't. But there are some PoolBoy related cakes. Oh yes, there surely are.

Semi-nude dude on a bearskin rug? That's pretty fucking PoolBoy.

And finally, the icing on the PoolBoy cake (har har)....

What's that apostrophe about?

Also, I want one of these at the launch party.

C-String it

2010-06-28T23:10:00.000-07:00

hey ladies, i bet you thought this post was going to be about music right?

WRONG

May I present to you, the newest in insanely unnecessary products:
The CString

according to the "company" (if you want to call it that):
The CString is a completely new and exciting (!!! - my empasis here) innovation in lingerie. Say goodbye to panty line and uncomfortable straps. Say hello to a sexy new freedom.

The CString can be worn under all your favorite clothes:
• Dresses • Skirts • Jeans

The CString can also be worn alone:
• Swimwear • Lingerie

--

it looks like you are wearing a menstrual pad

That's right fuckers, freedom is sexy. It's also new.
i dont know how they can equate wearing a piece of wire up your butt as "freedom" when you could just not wear underwear if you are so concerned about panty lines (so emotionally and physically debilitating btw)

Not wearing underwear to avoid those DISGUSTING panty lines could save you $25.00+ that you can now spend on blow instead of a C-string.

They propose wearing it to the beach! I can't wait to wear it to the beach where it will just fall out from between my legs like i just pooped an exciting new innovation in lingerie.
And then i will scream about panty lines (so fucking disgusting!!!!) while i cover my junk and try to re-insert this crazy thing up my butt.

However, as idiotic as this looks on women, i really can't wait until they come out with the D-String for men:

Awkward Boners

2010-06-23T08:44:00.000-07:00

You know when you wake up in the morning feeling frisky and turn over to your man to initiate a love fest and notice that he's already got some morning wood ready for you? That's a surprise blessing boner. In contrast, when you're in class and you lean over to get a peak at your crush and notice that he's got a tent pitched in his shorts while your old man professor pontificates on the merits of Milton, that's an awkward boner. Don't get me wrong, Milton rules, but worthy of a classroom boner? I think not.

Did you know there's a whole blog dedicated to awkward boners? I didn't but I'm sure as hell glad I do now. They even have a feature where you can vote on if the boner is understandable or awkward!

In celebration of the season of swimming and sun, I bring you some photos of awkward summer boners from the awkward boners blog.

Beach boners are hard (ha ha!) because there are so many scantily clad ladies around. I can almost understand this wood.

Falling asleep after viewing so many bikinis has gotta lead to sweet dreams. As evidenced here.

This kid probably got a boner from seeing his own hot body in the pool mirror. That or he just kicked someone's ass in the 100 breast stoke.

(For T-bag)

Advertise in PoolBoy's First Issue!

2010-06-17T17:24:00.000-07:00

Hey ladies,
Queen Dicktoria here. I rule the peen universe at PoolBoy Magazine and I'm writing to let you know that while we're putting the finishing touches on our very special first print issue of PoolBoy Magazine, we still have some ad space left for you to grab. We love offering low price ads to our friends in local communities and those in the sex industry making products that women love.

Hit up our Advertising Director, Jacki Oh, at jackiATpoolboymagazineDOTcom for info on ad rates and deadlines.

We'll also start offering web advertising on our new website soon to go live next week! We can't wait to take over the world. Won't you join us?

Loves and tugs,
Queen Dicktoria

World Cup Wonders

2010-06-16T10:30:00.000-07:00

The World Cup is finally underway! We posted about the many hotties involved in this huge worldwide competition back when we blogged about Kickette, an amazing British soccer blog, but now that the games have officially begun though I figured we could do another round.

Ok, actually, it's because I saw the photos from Cristiano Ronaldo's (Portugal) new Armani underwear ad. I'll just say it right now, I freakin' love soccer.

!!!

I'm not sure about the undies, mostly because it's hard to tear my eyes away from the rest of Ronaldo, but damn. That's really all I got. HOT DAMN.

Spartacus: Nude Dudes Galore and Gore

2010-06-14T22:38:00.000-07:00

So um I've been kinda obsessed with this show Spartacus: Blood and Sand on Starz (which has been putting together some good series lately, Party Down anyone?). It's produced by Sam Raimi of Evil Dead and Spider-Man fame and is loosely based on the story of the ancient Greek slave rebellion leader, Spartacus.

But that shit is not why i like it.

Being a cable show means you can get away with mucho and Spartacus does not shy away from anything. There's tons of blood splattering and maiming and killing (with more blood splattering). A scene where a dude has to hold onto his spilled out intestines before being beheaded is par for the course in this show. There's also TONS OF NUDE DUDE SHOTS.

The character of Spartacus, played by uber-hotz actor/model/engineer (wtf?) Andy Whitfield, is captured as a slave of the Roman empire after he defects from the Roman military. He is sent to die in the arena of Capua by the hands of trained gladiators but he escapes his death sentence and is then showed mercy and sent to live and train as a gladiator at a training compound run by scheming social climber Lentulus Batiatius and his equally devious wife, Lucretia (played most excellently by Lucy Lawless of Xena fame).

So this gladiator training compound is where the totally hot dudes walk around naked, showing some P&A (peen and ass) and oiling themselves up (not joking) after a long day of gladiating or whatever the fuck they do.

The actors wear next to nothing (and nothing) constantly and their characters are at the whim of the Lucretia who frequently asks them up to the main house to disrobe and pleasure her and her friends. YES THIS IS PART OF THE SHOW.

Anyways, all the background sob stories of the characters are interesting and the intrigue and scheming of the villains also helps move the story along in between shots of buff naked dudes.

Check it out if for fun drama, hot naked dudes, and graphic blood splattering.

Phoenix NUDE Times Feature on PoolBoy!

2010-06-10T14:04:00.000-07:00

Check out the Phoenix New Times Feature on PoolBoy Magazine!

Radness!

photo by Miss Atomic Photography

and FYI ladies, our very special, 1st issue of PoolBoy Magazine is set to be released this August! Can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Women's Porn Mag Cockblocked in UK

2010-06-09T10:25:00.000-07:00

This is news from last year but Filament, a women's erotica magazine, was cockblocked by their printer for pictures of erect penises in their second issue. Apparently their first issue, released last year, had three sets of pics of hot lads without dropping their pants. That in itself surprises me.

On hearing the reader demand for hard cocks, the Filament team included some fine boneage in their second issue only to have their printer refuse, "citing potential objections from 'the women's/religious sectors.'"

Uhhh...what? Can you imagine a printer refusing to publish one of the thousands of porn mags for men because "men's/religious sectors" might object?

Kristina Lloyd and Mathilde Madden make some good points in the Guardian article about the whole debacle, including this gem:

While some contend the lack of female-oriented erotica reflects a lack of demand, claiming the free market would prevail if women wanted such material, Filament's experience of cockblocking proves otherwise. Perhaps what's most insidious in this saga is that the market's refusal to admit Filament reinforces an idea of female sexuality which justifies that very refusal. The absence of visual erotica for women on shelves crammed with magazines where women are products for male consumers, reduces female desire to the less-interested counterpart of male desire. The deficit positions women as the providers of sex for perpetually horny dudes. And so, runs the self-fulfilling logic, of course women don't want magazines targeting their desire. Women don't have desire, see? They merely receive it.

You might be wondering why I'm blogging about another porn magazine for women on the PoolBoy Magazine blog. Isn't that our competition, you may be wondering? Honestly, I'm just psyched to see there are other women producing porn mags. That's just more variety for ladies. It gets so old having to look at the same porn, and men don't seem to have this problem because there are tons of different mags and movies for them to look at. Women have less than a handful. Plus, how could you not love a magazine whose slogan is "the thinking woman's crumpet?"

Luckily the British magazine is now on it's 5th issue, proving that ladies all over the world love man meat.

Tween Wet Dreams

2010-06-08T11:44:00.000-07:00

Like many of you, I spent many a night watching Newsies when I was younger. If I was having a sleepover we might rent Newsies AND Swing Kids and spend all night exclaiming over how cute Christian Bale was (and I mean that past tense, he totally became a creepster as he got older).

Ok, I admit it, we also spent a lot of time freeze framing and rewinding trying to figure out if there was actually a boner in the scene where the Newsies head to Brooklyn to enroll Spot and his crew in the good fight. Look for the kid climbing out of the water. Total boneage.

This Bad Romance Lady Gaga mash up with Seize the Day brings back memories of these more innocent times. It actually works really well. It's like the Lady G was singing just for little Christian Bale.

(Via Huffington Post)

Also, I can't help but post the video for "Carrying the Banner" as well. It'll make the 12 year old girl inside you swoon. Singing! Dancing! Boy candy! Pelvic Thrust at 4:00!

Women Like to Watch Porn, Deal with It

2010-06-02T11:46:00.000-07:00

In response to a Stop Porn Culture conference held in Boston by the Stop Porn Coalition, a group that claims to be feminist but is actually rooted in fundamentalist Christian organizations (though this fact is hidden on their website and other materials), Violet Blue created Our Porn, Ourselves. The Our Porn, Ourselves mission statement says:

We women are tired of people trying to control our sexuality by telling us what we should or shouldn’t like sexually (porn) based on what someone else thinks is best for us. It’s like keeping women in a perpetual state of being children about sex. And women who say they are feminists make it worse by discounting all the women who find porn to be an empowering sex toy. Or if not, to at least give us the benefit of the doubt that we can make that decision for ourselves, thank you very much.

It's about time there was a counter argument to the anti-porn feminists. I'm not about to tell someone they're not feminist for being against porn, especially if they're exposure to porn is all the violent shit out there. But I'm also not about to judge anyone for what turns them on or tell other women that they shouldn't explore their sexuality to see what exactly does turn them on. There's a great quote by Sarah Estrella, from the Sex & Relationship Examiner, that addresses the compatibility of the feminist label and porn:

...To that I’d add that feminism and pornography are no longer incompatible, if they ever were, and both are becoming more progressive than you might imagine (witness such phenomena as the recent 5th annual Feminist Pornography Awards). As one set of feminists are returning to the old right wing rallying cries of Andrea Dworkin, another set is increasingly participating in the means and ways of production of adult entertainment, and becoming a significant portion of the audience for pornographic material as consumers. As a result, the old charges that pornography is about a male-centric and sexist objectification of women are falling apart. To be sure, there is still plenty to talk about, plenty to protest, and plenty to change for the better in the adult enterainment industry – particularly around violence against and exploitation of women, to the extent that each still exist – but the argument that feminism is by definition anti-porn just doesn’t hold up anymore.

That's what PoolBoy Magazine is all about, acknowledging and accepting that women are sexual and enjoy being so. Instead of being sexualized by the media and society, PoolBoy asserts that women should be sexual and address what gets them hot. How are women to enjoy sex if they're not allowed to explore what it is exactly that turns them on? Or just be judged by what gets them going? Perhaps the underlying message of anti-porn groups are that women are not supposed to enjoy sex, or only be the means that they deem acceptable. Sad face.

Anyway, porn is cool and people, men or women, telling other women that they shouldn't watch it are just as bad as men making laws about what women can or cannot do with their bodies. Why don't you just let decide for themselves? Or, if you don't like the porn that's out there, make your own!

Our Porn, Ourselves is having a video contest with some rad prizes. All you have to do is, "Make a short video that tells us you are pro-porn, and upload the video to your favorite video sharing website. This is where you get to tell us “I’m pro-porn and I vote!” When you’re done, Tweet the location (URL) of the video with the hashtag #proporn. The deadline is June 12, the start of the Stop Porn Culture feminist anti-porn conference." The prizes are listed on Our Porn, Ourselves so check them out and get to making your video!

A picture is worth a thousand licks

2010-06-01T07:34:00.000-07:00

If you've ever seen The Pillow Book, you've shared the fantasy of painting up and down some hot dude's body. Or even having some sexy artist type guy painting up and down yours. The paintbrush tickling up your skin, the curious designs directing your lover to your lady bits and then watching those designs smear on the bedsheets when you can't take the teasing anymore. HOT.

There's a plethora of companies who understand this need to get down and dirty with a creative flair. Every sex shop I've visited has a weighty section of colored oils, paint pens filled with lickable goo, and even finger pots with black light bulbs in case you feel the need to re-enact that steamy scene in Earth Girls are Easy.

On a recent excursion to Fascinations, I picked up this: Lovin' Body Paints. Reasonably priced at $10, it boasted 4 flavors (Cherry, Blueberry, Lime and Lemon) and a paintbrush.

After some steamy sexting to my gentleman friend, I headed to his place and threw the kit into the fridge to let it cool down. This isn't necessary, as the paints are displayed out on a regular shelf, but I figured it would add to the sensations. As things heated up between us, I snagged the kit out of the fridge, and asked my bearded hottie if he was up for a little art school.

The paintbrush is so small, I wondered if I had bought the paint kit for midgets. It's awkward, and the cheap, stiff plastic bristles aren't exactly tantalizing and don't lend to the experience. In fact, they kind of scrape against your more tender bits. We ended up using our fingers instead.

We started with the cherry tub. It's texture is like pudding, and they really fill the little container, so be careful when you open it or you could get a lap full of paint. Which may or may not be a good thing depending on how lick happy your mate is. The color is very bright, but you have to put it on thick if you want to see it. It's not very sticky, and clean up is a breeze!

I only put two dots on a tender part of his skin, but that was more than enough to taste the flavor. And it was awful. It tasted just like cheap cough syrup. Unfortunately, that alone was enough for us to ditch art class and grab some honey we had just picked up at the Farmer's Market. That went a lot better, though it's very sticky (which is fun when it dries just a little and every part of you that touches bonds together) and a little harder to clean up. I definitely recommend putting down a sheet that you can throw into the washer when you're done, and look forward to some extended shower time.

We'll probably try the other flavors later when we're drunk and feeling silly, but other than that, I would not recommend buying this product. In fact, you can find recipes on how to make your own, which I may do next time Ewan and I are looking to add a little color to our bedroom routine.

Aeric Meredith-Goujon Photography

2010-05-31T15:16:00.000-07:00

Check out the erotic photography section of Aeric Meredith-Goujon's website. There's some BSDM, some female ejaculation, and some masturbation series. But I found his couple's pictures super hot.

enjoy some below and then check out his site

Hot Guys Reading Books

2010-05-29T10:21:00.000-07:00

There's pretty much nothing hotter to me than an attractive dude reading a good book. Blamo! My undies are instantly wet. Srsly. It's pretty much the reason I work at a bookstore. Yes, I love books and I love to talk about them but really I love to flirt with hot dudes who ask me for recommendations or just ogle them while they flip through The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. Whoa is right.

So when my friend sent me a link to Hot Guys Reading Books I almost fell out of my chair. And then I spent a long, long time looking through it. There's a little sampling below to wet your whistle.

I don't even care what the book is. Hello!

Obviously European, no? Wish I could tell what he was reading.

That's a saucy little smirk, my friend. I like.

Loafers! Would totally approach this dude and strike up a convo about whatever he's reading. Hope it's not Eat, Pray, Love.

HGRB says he was reading a Harry Potter book. Get in my pants!

Heinlein, nice. You can be a stranger in my strange land any day.

Check out the blog and send in pics of your boyfriend reading so I can fantasize about him too.

Naked Men, Happy Women

2010-05-27T00:06:00.000-07:00

gah! i dont even have to do a write up on this blog, Naked Men, Happy Women

just look at these and then go there.

they even have a naked man of the week post

gah!

For You I Keep My Legs Apart

2010-05-26T11:48:00.000-07:00

digging this song so hard right now !

Funny Lady

2010-05-25T13:25:00.000-07:00

In November Tina Fey will be awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American humor, the most prestigious humor prize in the country. Hells yeah! Fey, 40, is the youngest comedian to be honored and just the third woman (after Lily Tomlin and Whoopie Goldberg). Fey released a statement saying she's psyched and that Betty White must have been "disqualified for steroid use."

Fey has been a PoolBoy favorite since her days writing (first woman head writer, what what!) and performing on SNL. Plus, who doesn't love a lady who came up in Chicago's Second City improv group (yay Illinois!)? Fey's work on NBC's 30 Rock, which is probably the funniest show on TV right now, has provided our generation with a shit ton of hilarious one liners like, "I'm Lizzing!," "ROBOT PENIS," "never go with a hippie to a second location," and "didn’t you tell me to live every week like it’s Shark Week? And that nothing’s impossible except dinosaurs?" among many, many others, which can be heard constantly in homes and retail establishments across the country. She's fucking funny.

I've included one of my favorite SNL Weekend Update clips below, the notorious "Bitch is the New Black." Jump to 1:29.

Now, however you feel about Hilary Clinton, Fey's humor in this clip is witty and to the point: we had a serious female candidate for President and the media was sexist as shit while trying to discredit her. Call her a bitch? Yeah, she IS a bitch, and so are many strong women who have to speak their minds to a society rife with sexism. Clinton didn't get the nomination and Obama is now our President, but Clinton made miles and miles of new road on America's way to it's first female President, just as Tina Fey has for feminism (she dares to use the word on TV!) and women in comedy.

Congrats, Liz Lemon, you deserve the hell out of this award.

(USA Today / NBC)

just put your lips together and blow

2010-05-24T14:43:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA

2010-05-21T15:13:00.000-07:00

Anti-Birth control pharmacy closes doors due to lack of funds

Saudi Woman Fights Back...Literally

2010-05-20T09:46:00.000-07:00

When a 20-something Saudi woman walking in an amusement park with an unnamed male was stopped by a Virtue cop (a Saudi religious policeman) and questioned about her and her companion's identities, her friend passed out. The policeman was on the look out for illegal socializing as woman and men who are not married or related are not allowed to mix in public. When her companion hit the ground, the Saudi woman beat the crap out of the cop, hitting him so badly he had to go to the hospital.

As Jezebel reports, "While we don't usually condone violence, her actions are pretty remarkable - even kind of awesome." It's pretty great that when her male companion dropped out of the conversation (literally), the young woman stood up to the virtue cop on her own. Speaking out against harassment by the religious police is probably a safer route then kicking ass, but I can't say a shiver of pleasure didn't run throughout my body when I read the headline of this story.

The incident marks a real change in women's rights in Saudi Arabia. According to Wajiha Al-Huwaidar, a Saudi women’s rights activist quoted by The Media Line, "To see resistance from a woman means a lot. People are fed up with these religious police, and now they have to pay the price for the humiliation they put people through for years and years. This is just the beginning and there will be more resistance.”

"Saudi law does not permit women to be in public spaces without a male guardian. Women are not allowed to drive, inherit, divorce or gain custody of children, and cannot socialize with unrelated men," according to the The Jerusalem Post. If charged, the unnamed woman could receive a lengthy prison sentence or even lashings. I'm pretty surprised that there's a question about if the woman will be charged or not, but also excited that public opinion seems to be on her side.

Nadya Khalife, the Middle East women's rights researcher for the Human Rights Watch, explains:

"There is clearly a shifting mentality regarding to the male guardianship law and similar issues. More women are speaking out, there are changes within the government, there is a mixed university, the king was photographed with women, they want to allow women to work in the courts and there are changes within the justice ministry. So you can witness some kind of change unfolding but it's not quite clear what's happening and it's not something that's going to happen overnight."

Don't be lulled into a sense of security just because you can't see a woman's face, she might still beat the crap out of you!

Happy 50th Birthday to The Pill!

2010-05-18T11:24:00.000-07:00

I'm a little late on this, but this past May 9th marked the 50th anniversary of the FDA approval of the birth control pill. TIME did a nice little write up covering the history of the pill, from early forms of birth control (paste made from crocodile dung as a vaginal insert, anyone?), the conception of the idea of a magic little pill (thanks Margaret Sanger!), to creation of the pill, getting FDA approval, and the role the pill on women's liberation and the sexual revolution. This is a must read for women who take or have taken the pill, and really any woman that wants to know about the history of birth control and feminism, because they are so very intertwined.

For more info on birth control check out the first issue of PoolBoy Magazine (hitting the streets in August!) which includes a guide to "Rethinking your Birth Control." Stay tuned for pre-order opportunities!

Here's my favorite quote from the TIME article:

Some of the women who were on the family-planning front lines 50 years ago get a little impatient when they hear young women talking ungratefully about the freedoms they take for granted. But Steinem, for one, takes the longer view. "I don't walk around saying, 'Thank you for the vote,' " she says of a battle even longer past. "I might add, as Susan B. Anthony said, Our job is not to make young women grateful. It's to make them ungrateful so they keep going. Gratitude never radicalized anybody."

There's no time like the present to get radical.

Paul Rudd needs to impregnate me asap

2010-05-17T17:25:00.001-07:00

David Williams: The Wolfman Cum-eth

2010-05-17T14:16:00.000-07:00

So the other night, I gathered with Clitical Sass and some chips and we watched GODS OF FOOTBALL (all caps = so epic)

which is a documentary on the making of an almost nude calendar featuring Australia's hottest rugby players. The proceeds from the calendar go to breast cancer research which is so "awww".

The flick is whatevs but does show lots of hot dude skin. No peen unfortunately, just a strategically placed cum rag or rugby ball. Sad face. Most of the dudes were hotz but there were some who were very "i will rape you in the club"-looking. AKA this hombre:

All the of dudes kinda looked the same, super muscular, no necks, dbag-tag tatts, etc, except for one:

David Williams.

We had already unknowingly posted a photo of him from the calendar on our Hot Athletes post, but we didnt know it was him, because he was, how do you say, sans the beard.

I love the beard though! He looks like a super hot hipster or a logger. Like he plays drums in Fleet Foxes and fucks like a champion.

Apparently he dyed the beard pink for some creepy reason! He is crazy ya'll! And hot.

Enjoy (with and without el beardo)

cum rags!

i wanna put my face between those legs

i dont know what is going here in this picture but i support it.

i will also support this

with my mouth

he plays for a rugby team called "Manly"

how appropriate...

i have never wanted to be an old man doctor until this moment

boner jamz town 2010

Mexi-Love: 10 Great Things to Love About Mexico

2010-05-12T11:33:00.000-07:00

There's been a lot of national talk about this new law in Arizona that pretty much allows for racial profiling in order to "catch" people who are in our country through undocumented means. And even though the media loves to latch onto the haters who support this bill, I believe the majority of Arizonaians (?) don't support the bill. It seems everyone wants to talk about it and how it will impact our daily life.

I'm not saying that no one here supports the bill because yes, there are many fuckheads who do, but that little white lie about "70% of the state supports SB1070" is a bunch of bullshit. Wanna know where they got that number? A Rasmussen poll. A Rasmussen landline phone poll of 500 Arizona citizens. A Rasmussen poll that showed that 70% of the 500 citizens polled through their landline phone support the bill. Who the fuck has a landline phone these days? Old racists.

There are around 6 MILLION documented people living in the state of Arizona. 500 people (of whom only 70% agree) do not represent six million. 70% of 500 is 350 people. 350 people in support of the bill out of 6 million is less than 1%. Less than 1% of the state's population are in support of the bill according to the Rasmussen poll. Perhaps the percent in support is higher but we won't know until a better survey has been performed. So don't believe the hype. That's like a dude saying his cock is 8 inches of love and in truth, he's only 1% not lying. More cock, less talk. Math is power.

Anyways this issue is more complicated than a 1% Rasmussen poll. Arizona is (was?) a great place to live. The landscape is beautiful, the culture is an amazing mix of hispanic, white, black, and native people's foods, traditions, history and art, and the people are friendly. Yeah that's positive glossing over some of our negative aspects (the kokopelli, rampant racism, poverty, environmental destruction, Mormons, and, at least in Phoenix, historical and architectural apathy) but every state has shit they have to deal with. Arizona directly benefits from Mexican and Latin American immigration (legal or illegal) on many, many levels and as a citizen of this great state, I hate to see our laws (which we did not vote on) treat our southern sisters and brothers as less than human.

So, as a tribute to the importance of the great cultural exchange that is happening in Arizona and across the United States, PoolBoy brings you:

MEXI-CAN CAN CAN:

10 GREAT THINGS TO LOVE ABOUT MEXICO

1. The Birth Control Pill

Yeah i know you thought i was gonna post a pic of Diego Luna (that's next, so hotz) but did ya'll know that the chemicals used in the birth control pill were invented in Mexico? That little pill that keeps you riding high originated in 1951 in Mexico City.

Mexican chemists, Carl Djerassi (pictured above) Luis Miramontes and George Rosenkranz of the Mexican chemical company Syntex are the co-inventors of progestin, the hormonal chemical used oral contraceptives.

In the words of The Economist, the pill "was arguably the first lifestyle drug to control a normal bodily function - fertility - rather than a dread disorder. It transformed the lives of millions and helped reshape the role of medicine in reproduction."

Not to mention the pill ignited the sexual revolution of the 1960s, is one of the most important milestones of the feminist movement, and is one of the most popular drugs in the world.

2. Diego Luna

ok here we go with the hot hombres (this is PoolBoy afterall!)

Super hot (and great) in Y tu mamá también, Milk, Frida, and Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (you know you watched it). Dude also named his baby Jerónimo! And his production company with super Mexi-hottie (and childhood best friend) Gael Garcia Bernal, is making a documentary on the unsolved murders of over 300 women in the Mexican border down of Ciudad Juarez across from El Paso, Texas. Caliente and conscientious makes for a winning combo in mi pantalones.

what's next? read the rest of our list after the jump

3. Gael García Bernal

Yeeehaw! You can't make a post on hot Mexican dudes without this chico topping the list.

Born in Guadalajara, this dude is muy talented. And like his friend Diego Luna, not only is he a great actor, being the first Mexican actor accepted to London's prestigious Central School of Speech and Drama, but he also spent time teaching the Huichol indigenous tribe in Mexico how to read and took part in demonstrations during the Chiapas uprising in 1994. Check out Amores Perros, The Science of Sleep, and The Motorcycle Diaries for more of this hot dude.

4. Comandante Ramona and The Zapatista Army of National Liberation (Ejército Zapatista de Liberación Nacional, EZLN)

You can't mention the Chiapas uprising without talking about the muy importante and inspirational Zapatista Army of National Liberation.

They've been fighting (non-violently) to protect the natural and cultural resources of the southwestern state of Chiapas since the 1990s and have been instrumental at crafting a new political ideology that incorporates Mayan and indigenous theology with anarchist and anti-globalization/anti-neoliberalist thought. Comandante Ramona was one of their head commanders and helped craft their Women's Revolutionary Law which is feminist as fuck. She sadly passed away in 2006 from cancer. The EZLN has been fighting government corruption and NAFTA policies which have led to extreme poverty for Mexican farmers and indigenous tribes since the early 1990s. You can learn more about their cause at http://www.ezln.org.mx/

5. Eduardo Najera

I can't help but put up a Mexican Men's NBA basketball player now that Los Suns have swept the dreaded Spurs

Dude doesn't have much stats to put up but he did try to take out flopper Manu Ginobli while playing for the Mavericks and any dude that does that gets our vote. Check out those guns! Go Suns!

6. Rafael Márquez

i know i know, i can't put up a basketball player and not have a soccer player on the same list. Afterall, soccer (er i mean football) is the national sport of Mexico.

This hottie is currently Mexico's numero uno football export. He plays for Barcelona but likes to tease us with potential nip slips on the cover of Rolling Stone. I would play with his balls. Just sayin'

check out our post on other hot soccer players from around the world.

7. Frida Kahlo
Ok she's only numero 7 because her work is plastered on every refashioned cigar box and beaded curtain from Puerto Peñasco to Providence but Kahlo's work is truly amazing and her contribution to modern art cannot be disputed.

Her work can be seen in museums around the world and she inspired a whole new contemporary art movement in Mexico known as Neomexicanismo which brought artists like Abraham Ángel, Ángel Zárraga, and Jesús Helguera to the world.

8. Mexican Models

Male Mexican models all seem to be triple threats. They model (fiercely), act, and sing. And they all are super hotz. Here are some of my favs:

Erik Elias

Rafael Amaya

José Luis Reséndez

9. Tequila
Hey America, Tequila ain't just for spring break downs (I wanna see some balls!)

This fine liquor is the western hemisphere's version of Champagne. You can only call it Tequila if it's made from the blue agave of the Tequila region of Jalisco Mexico. Shitty tequila will result in you having to hose off your shitfaced friend in your driveway after she barfs all over herself. Good tequila requires sipping and will taste smokey and light with earthy tinges of the blue agave plant (yeah i just wrote that). Tequila is a distant relative of the ancient Aztec liquor, Octli, and is North America's first indigenous distilled spirit. Natch.

10. Musica!
ok so i just lumped an entire country's music together since it's the last on our list. I do it dirty like that.

Mexico has got some great music. Mariachi, Cumbia (fuck i love cumbias), Norteño and Bolero are some traditional Mexican musical genres. Check out cool bands like Nortec Collective, Manu Chao, Mexican Institute of Sound, Pacha Massive, and Chikita Violenta for some sweet Mexican sounds.

That's it. That's our list. Sure we could have put burritos, beaches, and piñatas on our list but, here at the PoolBoy Institute, hot dudes, revolutionaries, history, music, art and tequila are more our style.

¡Viva México!

Hot Ballers

2010-05-11T14:10:00.000-07:00

Remember that PoolBoy post about what sport has the hottest players? Well Kickette, a blog about hot footballers (soccer players for us yanks), may just have won the argument. Did I mention soccer is great because the players are constantly pulling their shirts over their heads or just striping them completely off? I could spend all day looking at this site but, so you don't have to, I've compiled some of my fave picks from their 2010 Kickette Hot Hall of Fame and beyond. Get ready to change your panties.

Popularly known as Alex Song, this Cameroonian baller plays for Arsenal.

Yoann Gourcuff, a hot frenchie who plays for Bordeaux, is all the rage at Kickette. Think accent.

Hottie Totti gets it done for Roma.

21 year old Aussie babe Langerak plays goal for Melbourne Victory.

Iker Casillas plays for Real Madrid. Viva Espana.

A personal favorite of mine since watching him play on the World Cup winning Italian national team, Fabio Cannavaro plays for Juventus and likes to feed giraffes.

David Beckham. I know, I know, he's the only international soccer player Americans seem to recognize (and it's not because he played for the LA Galaxy, if you can even call that playing), although we don't seem to care all that much about him. Well guess what? He's still really hot.

Vanity Fair photo shoot for the World Cup countdown. I sure as hell will be watching, will you?

And there's tons more photos of baller hotties on Kickette, plus the Kickette ladies also know what they're talking about when it comes to football. They love the players and the game.

Look at these hipsters fucking

2010-05-05T08:33:00.000-07:00

ya'll know Look At This Fucking Hipster right? (of course you do. you peruse it at your leisure or with friends making fun of the lil hipsters, getting fashion tips and tattoo no nos, and fapping to the hot dudes. no? just me? fuck you)

ok so well now there's Look At This Hipster Fucking

Ladypants hasn't updated the site since March (booooo) but aside from most of the queer girls and fake ass 3some pics there are some boners.

Ginger Love

2010-05-03T22:23:00.000-07:00

Why's everybody hatin on gingers? I know the UK has a general problem with ginger discrimination, which is mind blowing, but lately it seems like fire crotches are getting flack in the US as well (see MIA's new video, which is crazy NSFW, really disturbing, and was banned from YouTube. Also, I get that it's commentary on racism/discrimination but I hate to see me some fine redheads get blown up). This mistrust of gingers has a long history. Apparently, in the Middle Ages red hair and green eyes were seen as signs of a witch, werewolf, or vampire. Just try to imagine Edward Cullen as a ginger.

Anyway, to counter all the ginger hate, I present Ginger Love, a collection of fine ginger dudes for all those ladies that love them some red in bed (you know who you are...Gretchen).

Rupert Grint, best known as Ron Weasley, looking like a sweet ginger rockabilly dude. I would ride that wave all the way home.

Robert Redford, classic ginger.

Random ginger sporting an impressive ginger beard. Bravo.

Josh Homme, rock star ginger.

Prince Harry, royal ginger.

Peabo Powell, ginger model. Hello!

Paul Bettany! He brings a smile to the lips of all ginger lovin ladies.

Eric Stoltz, old school ginger. I had the biggest boner for him when I was younger.

Conan O'brien, funny ginger. Srsly, look at those flowing locks!

Christian Suss, Olympian ginger (even if he was playing ping pong...for Da Germans...).

Hipster ginger.

Simon Woods, yowza! Played Mr. Bingley in the Keira Knightly version of Pride and Prejudice. Didn't see it but maybe I should if the dudes look like Simon here...

Who are your fave gingers to drool over?

Punks I'd like to Fuck

2010-04-27T15:00:00.000-07:00

Although a lot of the dudes on Punks I'd like to Fuck look like they need a good shower (and for someone to take a razor to those terrible dreds), there are some def hotties....and even one dude I've already banged. Awesome.

Like dirty boys? Find more pics for your spank bank at PILFS.

Boobquake 2010!

2010-04-25T20:50:00.000-07:00

Better hold onto your hats tomorrow, there might be a Boobquake!

Inspired by an Iranian cleric's comments that scantily clad women can start earthquakes, blogger Jen McCreight (pictured below) jokingly suggested that we test his theory by showing some skin on the same day. And thus the Boobquake began.

On Monday, April 26 women across the country will get out their v-neck shirts, summer skirts, flip flops, or anything that shows some scandalous lady flesh, in hopes of harnessing their lady powers and starting a Boobquake. If aforementioned cleric's theory is correct, not only will the earth be rocked, but men worldwide will spontaneously combust (ok, I sort of made that last part up, but if female skin is so potent as to rock the earth, I figure we can get some heads exploding too).

Will you be involved? I say, let the tremors begin!

This Just In: Women Want More Sex

2010-04-24T02:18:00.000-07:00

all i can say is DUH

According to a Pacific Magazines survey that will be published in tomorrow's Men's Health and Women's Health magazines, women want sex nearly as often as men. The research asked nearly 10,000 Australian men and women between the ages of 25 and 45 about their sex and romantic lives.

The results suggest that nearly one-third of women want sex every day in comparison to 40 percent of men. However, only 25 percent have sex weekly and a measly 20 percent have sex just once per month!
In terms of getting in the mood, one third of men and women enjoy a romantic dinner and the many (66 percent of women and 50 percent of men) list dancing as a sexual mood-enhancer. A total of 62 percent of men and 52 percent of women claim that spending a romantic night in is the best way to set the mood for a night of passion.

Sadly, 38 percent of women feel that foreplay is too rushed and 35 percent of men are disappointed by the fact that women do not initiate sex. Over half of all respondents reported that the one thing they really want is to be seduced by a partner. Despite some complaints, participants seemed open to sexual experimentation with two-thirds reporting that they would watch porn or engage in role-play games with a partner.

(reblogged via Carnal Nation)

Jiz Is My Name

2010-04-23T12:18:00.000-07:00

haha jiz is so fucking pro-choice only dead things come out of her vagina!

Dirty Poems Pt. II

2010-04-22T12:01:00.000-07:00

My lady Jamie is a poet to be reckoned with. Below is another of her dirty ghazals, entitled:

A Plea from a Rejected Fuck Buddy (m)

I hear what you’re saying, but look down at my penis.

You know how well I can wield this penis.

Our repetitively secret one-night trysts

are like Miracle-Gro to my penis.

Imagine the muscles, the angles, the places you’ve kissed.

They’re nothing compared to where I’ve stuck my penis.

We could welcome a third—I have a list—

as long as there are boobies and no penis.

I’ll go to dinner without hand-holding, if you get the gist.

Just know I’m open to those hands gripping my penis.

You’re busy? But baby, I won’t use my fist

like I did before. I’ll use my penis.

You’re trying to make me jealous. I pretend I haven’t been dissed.

Good luck, I’ve seen him in the bathroom with his baby penis.

I, the Rejected Fuck Buddy, hate it when I’m not missed.

I’ll meet your friends, I’ll go on dates! Come back to my penis.

I Used to Run A Soup Kitchen In My Pants

2010-04-22T11:01:00.000-07:00

I Dream of Bebe Barron

2010-04-21T15:09:00.000-07:00

Well I mean I dream about having her life. Her and her husband are credited with being the first electronic music artists in the world. Pretty fucking cool.

Ok so imagine this is totally your life, you're 22 years old. It's 1947, two years after the end of the single biggest influential event of the decade, World War II.

There are larger and larger rumblings of the oncoming Civil Rights movement being felt throughout the country. Television just became available to the public with 13 channels. The first computer had just been invented. During the last decade, women had experienced greater freedoms because of the war. Rosie the Riveter had become an icon of the working woman, the All American Girls Professional Baseball League ("there's no crying in baseball!") was in full swing, and women, now accustomed to a new and changing society, were creating the political and social foundations for gaining greater equalities in the workplace.

Bebe and Louis are from Minneapolis but get married and move to New York City in 1947. As wedding gift they get a tape recorder and begin recording people at their house parties.

Aren't these people like the cutest couple ever? Recording shit at their house parties? Aren't house parties the greatest?

Soon Louis starts tinkering with circuit boards, he's always loved soldering and electronics. He makes circuit boards that emit sound which Bebe records on the tape recorder.

They just fuck around. Making up "plays" where the sounds are actors. They don't even think of it as a musical composition, though Bebe does have a musical background. They are just having fun.

Soon Bebe starts spending time listening to noises and picking out what sounds good. She starts making new noises, using multiple tape recorders. She invents the tape loop.

She fucking invents the tape loop.

Bebe and her husband go on to record the first electronic album "Forbidden Planet" and open the first electronic music recording studio, recording the likes of Tennessee Williams and Henry Miller.

Bebe gives John Cage a boner because she's so badass and he begins encouraging her artistically, while he himself begins the authoring of a new art form. The Barron's get involved in creating the first sound effects in film and begin a royal rein in Hollywood as the Queen and King of film sound.

Bebe's work ignited a great debate on whether her creations were of artistic or scientific value. And she continued to work in the field of electronic recording throughout her life.

I dream of Bebe indeed!
So when you're dancing to that Hot Chip track tonight, you can dance in honor of Bebe.

More info about Bebe and Louis Barron can be found on NPR

RIP

Bebe Barron

June 16, 1925 to April 20, 2008

Happy 4/20!

2010-04-20T13:40:00.000-07:00

Have a nice day!

Vroom vroom!

2010-04-20T10:35:00.000-07:00

Sure, here at PoolBoy Magazine we do a lot of dirty mojito sippin', pool loungin' and hot dude boners indulgin'. We have other interests too!

I, for one, have always fancied myself to be an amateur gearhead. I love car shows and I know what I'm doing when I poke my head into an engine. Sure it helps that my panties dampen when a dude starts talking about his dually. But that's just a bonus!

I recently discovered Throttle Gals Magazine, put out by two badass chicks - Trish Horstman and Doni Langdon - whose love affair with all things gearhead has been revvin' since birth.

I just picked up Issue #2, which features loads of great features for all your mechanical crushes, including a write-up about Kali, a lady who rocks a sweet harley and owns & operates a veterinary hospital, some historical insight on Women Airforce Service Pilots, How to do an exhaust system upgrade on a bike, tech tips, book reviews... it goes on!!

I am in love with this magazine. I think they did a spectacular job putting out material for women who love engines like Bridezillas love their drama.

They're currently working on Issue #3, and I have to admit, I have a full-on girl crush for Trish and Doni. How could you not love women with passion and the drive to put out such a great magazine! If you know a certain lady who likes her truck, car, bike or supporting other bad-ass women, I def recommend picking up an issue.

Keep up the good work, ladies!!

Record Store Day!

2010-04-17T14:34:00.000-07:00

Record Store Day was today!
Did you go?

ya know i hit up all the record stores in town. i like music and flirting with cute boys.

"could you recommend me something?" is your in ladies, use it and abuse it.

Some Pool Girl purchases from Record Store Day at Stinkweeds Record Exchange:

(Some oldies)
Broken Social Scene - You Forgot It In People

Camera Obscura - My Maudlin Career

Bat for Lashes - Fur and Gold

(Some newbs)
Broken Bells - Broken Bells (Danger Mouse and James Mercer (The Shins) new collaboration)

(Mercer is looking more and more like Phil Collins!!)

The XX - XX

what did you get?

dance party - put this in your weekend jam

2010-04-16T14:26:00.000-07:00

I'm wicked addicted to how absolutely talented and cute Janelle Monáe is. And this song, which is off her soon to be released album, has me dancing around like crazy.

Dudes in Suites

2010-04-14T12:39:00.000-07:00

Remember this?

(Is this from The Haunted Airman!?!)

FACT: Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.

For my Bookish PoolGirls

2010-04-08T09:30:00.000-07:00

I've had jobs before where, when there's downtime, the lowly staff entertains themselves by watching music videos on YouTube, planning and detonating corn bombs (only fellow detasselers should understand that), or what have you (I once carved the JFK assassination into a pumpkin for a Halloween contest at work, just saying). Wanna know what bookish types do when it's slow at bookish jobs? Try looking through the hilarious lists on GoodReads (it's like Facebook for book nerds). Compiled by pool girl Laura, who loves to quote Spring Breakdown to me all the live long day, below are some of the best GoodReads user-created book lists.

First we have "Hottest Guy on a Cover." That one is pretty obvious. Most of the books look like romance novels and, surprisingly, there are lots of books about the Beatles. What I don't get about this list though, is why you can't see almost all of these hot cover dudes' faces. I suppose these could also be contenders for "Dude, Where's My Forehead?"

Next we have lists made by horny women. There's "Characters You Most Want to Sleep With," which obviously has Twilight's Edward Cullen in the top spot. Now, I'd bang R-Patz every which way, but the character Edward Cullen? I'm outing myself as a nerd here just by admitting I've read the atrocious Twilight series, but really Goodreads ladies? You'd like to bang a dead dude who is 100 years older than you, has killed people and probably wants to kill you, is rock hard like a statue (and not just downstairs!), and is given to stalkerish behavior like watching girls sleep, telling them who they can and cannot hang out with, and verbally belittling their intelligence and decision making skills as well as being prone to bouts of uncontrollable rage? Nice pick. Unfortunately, most of the "horney lady" lists are about paranormal romance (see JR Ward and Charlaine Harris) or teen romance (see Shiver). What are red blooded, adult, intelligent, independent women reading? My guess is they're not on Goodreads because they're too busy reading the PoolBoy blog!

Finally, we have an assortment of lists about gay male characters. There are a ton of these. From "Best Gay Furry Lovers" and "Worst Gay Book Covers" to "Best Gay Cinderfellas," Goodreads is innundated with lists about gay men. Where are all the lists about books full of straight male characters? There are some (yes but they're all about Edward Cullen!) but nothing like the number of lists about hot gay characters. Just like in the search for porn for women, straight ladies always seem to get the shaft (haha!).

There are some lists to make your downtime at work fly by. Check them out and get reading!

Death Star Trench

2010-04-07T16:41:00.000-07:00

Hello Nerd,
Perhaps I can witness the firepower of your fully armed and operational battle station?

hmm?

Dirty Ghazal-er

2010-04-06T16:45:00.000-07:00

My lady Jamie, being all classy and shit, wrote this dirty ghazal for her man friend. That's right, we write poems for dudes. Hot dudes. And it's not even Valentine's Day!

When I see tall, thin men, I wonder if they wear underwear
and more over, what sort? Boxers, briefs, tight fitting underwear?

Talk, more than that, whisper close to my ear, share
things that will make me think about what is under there

Depending on the date and the intention I will take care
to choose the laciest, least complicated underwear.

You and I fumble, undress, clothing flung on chairs,
afterwards, post-cuddle, we search for items - under where?

The secret I keep as you come as close as you dare:
to choose the laciest, least complicated underwear.

I have a thing for beards and all sorts of facial hair
so if you offer me a mustache ride, I'll take off my underwear.

I would totally blog about Amy Schumer....

2010-04-03T08:59:00.000-07:00

Dear Amy Schumer,

You're awesome.

Watch her here.

My Parents were Awesome

2010-04-02T06:59:00.000-07:00

When you're sitting on the phone listening to your mom bitch about how you never call or that thing on her foot might be infected or why aren't you married and have kids like your sister, it's hard to imagine that at one point, she might've been rolling her eyes and pulling the biggest hit of her life from a home made gravity bong while her boyfriend grabs her boobs and puts on Dark Side of the Moon again.

Yeah, at one point, Mom might've been cool.
Don't believe it? My Parents were Awesome is the place to go to witness this absurdity.

America The Beautiful

2010-04-01T11:54:00.000-07:00

So Condomania, a custom condom and sex toy retailer, just released some data on America's penis sizes.

According to Condomania, they collected data from their sales database from over 27,000 men and have presented their findings by city and state. I know what all you smart ladies are thinking, how do we know their measurements are, uh, accurate? Men tend to overestimate (roundup!) their specs amiright?

Well Condomania is in the business of accurate cock measurments because they invented the custom-fit condom, TheyFit. Just like with our bras, many men end up wearing the wrong size condoms and the major brands of condom sizes aren't that varied (Regular, Large, XXL? What is this Communist Russia!!??!).

Condomania was all "duh" and decided to be like that old lady in the bra store that will custom fit you a bra. Customers at Condomania go online (discreetly) and can fill out a measuring form that will give them an accurate size description and from there they can choose from over 76 condom sizes. 76!?!? That's right, one size fits all doesn't really work for cock and nor should it. We want our poolboys to be safe and comfortable and having just as much as fun as we are, don't we?

But back to this data! This is science folks!

Guess not everything's big in Texas because Dallas-Fort Worth ranked as the city with the smallest dicks.

And not to brag or anything but Phoenix is ranked in the top 5 cities for largest dick size. Come on down to our cock banaza in the desert and get your fill ladies.

Oh and the number 1 city? New Orleans! Is that spicy gumbo in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

here some other highlights from their study:

* Top Ranking State by Average Penis Size: New Hampshire
* Lowest Ranking State by Average Penis Size: Wyoming [Utah is #2 lowest.]
* Top Ranking U.S. City by Average Penis Size: New Orleans
* Second Highest Ranking City (just behind N.O.): Washington, D.C.
* Lowest Ranking City by Average Penis Size: Dallas/Ft. Worth
* Blue States vs Red States: Blue States’ Average Penis Size is Bigger.
* Penises Come in a Wide Range of Sizes: The Smallest Penises are Less Than 3″ in Length and the Largest Penises are Longer Than 10″ in Length
* Penis Sizes Chart Almost a Perfect Bell Curve: 25% of the Male Population is Under 5″ in Length, 50% are Between 5″ and 6″ in Length and 25% are Longer than 6″ in Length

(reblogged from our girl Violet Blue)

But I have to ask our readers, is it wrong to want to see which city has the biggest dicks and which city has the smallest?

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad F Word?

2010-03-31T12:29:00.000-07:00

Venus magazine, the Chicago based feminist music zine that started out as an overnight project, is getting a makeover. The Chicago Reader reports that Sarah Beardsley is taking over and revamping the content and style of the much loved mag. The biggest change? No more blatant feminism. Beardsley is quoted as saying:

"That's such a word fraught with interpretation and meaning," she said. "We don't use that particular F word around here. It just doesn't seem relevant." She called feminism "an old-fashioned concept" and explained that "it doesn't enter into our discussions about what we're going to cover and what have you." She said, "We're much more into discovering trends, talent, whatever they are, and they can come in all shapes, sizes, genders, and forms."

Uhhh...what?

Venus was so great because it was all about women in music and art being DIY as fuck. While I agree with founder Amy Schroeder's concern that there's nothing wrong with getting bigger and growing up, I think feminism is still viable and relevant and important. But old fashioned? Until I get paid as much as the jerk with a dick in the next cubicle, I can walk home without looking behind me every few steps, and I'm not bombarded with images of naked or domesticated women everytime I turn on the television, there's still work to be done. It's nice to think that feminism has done everything it can do and everyone is equal and there's no oppression or exploitation, but we all now we're not even close to that point. Old fashioned is lemonade. Equality is not old fashioned.

While I'm not giving up on Venus, I'm also not looking forward to more celebrity coverage and less F bombs. I'll check out the next issue but I'll be doing so with a critical eye. Let's hope Venus won't become another Sassy turned into Jane, watered down girl power trying to sell stuff instead of build awesomeness.

A guide to backdoor lovin' with Nina Hartley...

2010-03-30T09:30:00.000-07:00

Some of you know Nina Hartley as a Porn star. But did you also know that not only is she a registered nurse, but has done a ton in encouraging sex-positive feminism and women's rights in the adult industry by appearing on The Oprah Winfrey Show and writing Nina Hartley's Guide to Total Sex, amoungst other things.

These days, she posts a vlog every Tuesday called Tuesdays with Nina on Eden Fantasys SexIs site, full of helpful imformation and quirky tid-bits. She talks about everything from Period Sex to dealing with genital piercings and even Kama Sutra etiquette.

This week, is Anal 101. Now, if you're not a backdoor lover already, but have always been curious, Nina helps walks you through how to prep yourself, both physically and mentally for this deliciously deviant deed.

Another reason we love R.Patz

2010-03-29T06:18:00.001-07:00

I didn't know R.Patz could dance?! (Could you ask him to get an autograph from Prince for me, please?)
<3

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

2010-03-27T10:31:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago I was lucky enough to attend the Chelsea Handler show at the Dodge Theater in PHX (for free nonetheless!). I've been a fan of Ms. Handler since seeing her TV show Chelsea Lately. The lady is quick. She always gets the last word and usually that word is pretty hilarious. She's got a new book out, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang (and yes, I just linked to GoodReads, fuck that huge online bookseller that pushes indie bookstores out of business), from which much of the material at her live show was based.

A girl after my own heart, Ms. Handler went on a huge spiel about how gross balls are ("I can understand wanting to get fucked but who goes out thinking, 'I can't wait to get my mouth around some balls!'?") and then reenacted discovering "the feeling" at her first sleepover at age 8. How can you not love a woman who learns to masturbate at 8 but thinks she's the only one that knows about this magical power and so has the inside balls to do it at the dinner table?

If you get a chance to see Ms. Handler on the road I highly recommend it. Otherwise just read the book, or her collection of one night stands, My Horizontal Life.

Stoner Chicks

2010-03-26T08:12:00.000-07:00

If you're not already aware, we are constantly decrying the lack of lady stoner flicks available. I love me some green ladies. And while stoner flicks make for big laughs in Hollywood, apparently only as long as everyone involved (I mean really involved, not just the love interest) has a dick. Don't tell me ladies are not as funny stoned. Everyone is funny stoned. That's like a scientific fact or some shit.

But there's sill hope! There's Best Buds coming out soon and I hope it's good. And then there's Smiley Face, a stoner comedy featuring Anna Faris as Jane:

Jane is a giggly, flirty goofball whose perpetual buzz is cranked up several notches when she scarfs a plateful of cannabis-spiked muffins baked by her roommate. Intending to bake a replacement batch, she orders a large amount of product from a dealer (a dreadlocked, droll Adam Brody) whom she can’t afford to pay; accidentally destroys her cellphone while cooking the muffins; then arrives late to an audition for a strait-laced casting agent who reports her drug use to the police; and so on.

And it's a pretty good movie! Faris is totally committed as Jane. She's spacey, cute, and believable. Plus, her character is badass. Jane gets into an argument with her dealer in which she schools him about Reaganomics and later impersonates a Union organizer at a meat packing plant and fantasizes about going off on a Marxist rant about labor oppression. Of course she can't really go off on such a monologue, not because she's just a girl and doesn't know about Marxist theory, but because she's really freaking stoned and everything comes out sounding ridiculous.

Yet, while there are some big laughs in Smiley Face, I felt like something was missing. SEX. Jane gets dumped by her boyfriend for being too much of a stoner at the beginning of the movie, and even though dudes are into her throughout the film, she's too out of it to recognize their signals or even care. At one point, a cute delivery truck driver helps her out with a ride and Jane starts getting sultry and asking him if being high makes him horny. I was excited for some hot stone and bone action at this point, but turns out Jane wasn't really saying that, the dude was just imagining it. Boner killer! Faris is really convincing as a clueless stoner, but I don't know a lady stoner out there who knows of the glory of the stone and bone and doesn't at least think about it when stizoned. Plus, there's major boobage in all the dude stoner movies, I just want a little equality. I'll settle for a little peen flash ala Jason Segal or even implied cunnilingus. Just throw us ladies a boner now and again!

Follow Friday - Follow this Blogger

2010-03-26T07:43:00.000-07:00

I'll make this short since it's Friday, and legally Happy Hour should be implemented at 11am on Fridays just to make up for the fact that Mondays even exist.

I love this girl:

She is the glorious Bloggess, who not only keeps up with a regular blog warning us of the potential existence of werewolf eels, but writes funny sexy articles for SexIs - an awesome site about/for/and why not a little more sex! - about vampire blow-job sex toys and the benefits of adopting a clitoris. She also gives really good advice, like "Get your heart out of your vagina" and she totally loves penis and will dedicate valuable time helping them rather than keeping track of how much Xanax she's taken. Which is great, since we do too. Love penis, not keep track of our Xanax. Counting is for assholes.

Dear Bloggess, if we ever meet, we'd like to buy you a drink. Here, let me drink that for you.

Bar Games

2010-03-25T10:43:00.000-07:00

The other night I was out with a friend visiting from NM (Go Lobos!) giggling through my beer haze as we played bar games. You know what I mean when I say bar games, right? From the classic "Who would you bang?" to the newer but infinitely more fun "teams" (thanks T-Bag!), bar games keep things lively when you're only looking to chill with friends. We've come by a few new games recently, and it's just in time. While Hipster or Homeless? has gotten old, I wonder if we are really ready for the possible (more like, inevitable) disappointment of Hipster or Gay?

Sometimes it's so hard to tell.

Either way, it seems like we've come too late as it is. Hipster or Gay? appears to have faded away too soon and entirely too late.

Oh save me!!

2010-03-24T16:02:00.000-07:00

Chris Evans is going to play the new Captain America??

I'm sorry, what were we talking about?

Chad VanGaalen...Swoon

2010-03-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time I was living in a crack house with a loser boyfriend in Somerville, MA. The highlight of my week was smoking meticulously rolled joints with said boyfriend Sunday nights and watching 120 minutes on MTV. One night we saw this video for clinically dead by Chad VanGaalen.

Intrigued, I looked up some more info on this VanGaalen dude. Turns out he animates all the videos for the music he writes and performs, sometimes on instruments he creates himself. On further investigation, his latest album The Soft Airplane is haunting and spooky and beautiful.

Do you have a lady boner yet? Oh, did I forget to post a photo of the Canadian hot boy?

Swoon.

Srsly.

(Thanks to knickerbocker for reminding me how much I love this dude)

Ms Beyoncé if you're nasty

2010-03-23T07:31:00.000-07:00

Doesn't Beyoncé look like a cutie patootie in the new Lady Gaga (ft. Beyoncé ) video for "Telephone"??

i luvs the hot pink lipstick and short bangs

the video is pretty fun too....

World Water Day was March 22

2010-03-22T10:01:00.000-07:00

Water conservation in Arizona is sadly not as pushed as it should be.

March 22 is World Water Day, created by the United Nations General Assembly and first commemorated in 1993 to raise awareness and encourage action around water issues.
Many of us take access to clean water for granted. It is readily available in our sinks and showers and even in plastic bottles. But, for a vast and growing number of people, access to safe water is a major health issue:

Over half of the world's illnesses are due to diseases caused by unsafe water.
One billion people on the planet don't have access to clean drinking water.
By 2025, this number could be 1.8 billion, unless we act.

As with many environmental issues, blame is too often placed on population growth. This masks the realities that actually cause the problem. According to National Geographic:

The average U.S. lifestyle takes 1,800 gallons (6,814 liters) of water a day to support -- twice the global average.

Meanwhile, major polluters who, big surprise, are corporations rather than individuals, are successfully evading regulation.
And yes, this is a feminist issue. Women hold much of the responsibility for obtaining clean water and are often most impacted by water scarcity. And women are taking action.
While this sort of environmental issue is often thought of as occurring in the global south, the impact of water scarcity is spreading. It's already a major problem in the U.S. Southwest. This map, which is a few years old, shows the spread of scarcity caused by both physical and economic factors (click for larger version):

Huffington Post has a list of a number of ways to take action on this vital issue.

(Reposted from Feministing )

Sushi Pillow!

2010-03-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

oh sushi pillows! I love you so....

oh lap pillow...

you make me feel less creepy about owning my cock shaped neck pillow:

Guys with iPhones

2010-03-21T10:57:00.000-07:00

Beware (Hooray?!), there are lots of dicks on Guys with iPhones. It's exactly what it sounds like. And totes NSFW. Also, NS if you plan on keeping your undies dry.

Most of the advertising and commentary is gay, but whatevs, gay dudes are still hot (usually hotter, actually). Eye candy knows no sexual preference.

Anyway, thank you, technology.

Knickersoaker!

2010-03-20T11:47:00.000-07:00

YES! This lovely Canadian blog is all about hot dudes! Thank you ladies!!

Love this little blurb about Joseph Gordon-Levitt:

While this picture isn’t the most flattering I’ve seen on Mr. Gordon-Levitt, who the fuck cares? Kid, while you’re “shooting up in Canada” come over to Vancouver Island for a “visit” and let me have all you babies. I know you’re in Vancouver, don’t even front. I have people who saw you eating at one of my favorite restaurants. Come serenade me a-la your “monologue” on SNL, and I’ll show you my own personal version of one of Canada’s iconic animals (it’s a beaver, people!).

i heart Canadians

hey nice buwhuuuuuu?

2010-03-19T07:43:00.000-07:00

I always said Bill was a stand up guy.

'with knife skills'

2010-03-15T07:35:00.000-07:00

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. . .
Wendi Aarons
Austin , T X

yoinked from here.

Pool Boys

2010-03-13T20:49:00.000-08:00

never has a photoshopped image been so sexy and so right

Feminist Porn Awards Announces Nominations

2010-03-12T09:45:00.000-08:00

The 2010 Good For Her Feminist Porn Awards have announced the details for this years party. Along with the impressive list of guests, the nominations are pretty drool worthy. With categories ranging from Sexiest Straight Film to Hottest Trans Scene/Film to Most Deliciously Diverse Cast there's something for every lady.

Check out the top 10 nominations below. Some of these might have to be reviewed for the next issue of PoolBoy Magazine (perhaps Be My Boy Toy?).

1) 101 Positions for Lovers – Jamye Waxman – Sensual Couples

2) A Man With a Maid: Tales of Victorian Lust – Nica Noelle – Sweet Sinner Video

3) Art of Female Self-Pleasure – Jaiya – New World Sex Education

4) Be My Boy Toy – Anna Span – Easy on the Eye Productions

5) Behind the Red Door – Carlos Batts – HeartCore Films

6) Bordello – Courtney Trouble – Reel Queer Productions

7) Buck Angel’s Ultimate Fucking Club – Buck Angel – Buck Angel Entertainment

8) Cocksucker – Julie Simone – Julie Simone Productions

9) Couch Surfers 2: Trans Men in Action – Brazen Garage Squad –Trannywood Pictures

10) Crash Pad Series 4: Ropeburn – Shine Louise Houston - Blowfish Video

Is it Happy Hour yet?

2010-03-12T07:37:00.001-08:00

It's been another busy week here at the Pool House. We appreciate all the awesome emails, submissions and support! Keep 'em coming. We'll get to everyone; pinky swear!

Until then, go stock up on Guinness and whiskey! St. Patty's day is next Wednesday! I've got a huge slab of corned beef in the crock pot and about 20 cases of Extra Stout in my beer fridge. WHO'S DRINKING WITH ME!!?

Best Butt

2010-03-09T09:33:00.000-08:00

I have some issues with American Apparel but I have less issues with their Best Bottom Contest 2010. I was pretty happy to see they had a guy category as well. The contest is over but have fun checking out all the submissions, there's some good junk (ha!) to be seen.

(via Violet Blue)

Just Eat It

2010-03-06T10:33:00.000-08:00

AskMen.com has a pretty good article on how to give oral pleasure to a lady. If you've come across a guy that needs some tongue tips, I recommend you shove this link in his face and then take him out for a test drive.

Happy Women's History Month!

2010-03-03T12:36:00.000-08:00

It's officially March, which means it's also Women's History Month. While March 8 is International Women's Day, in the US the whole of March is dedicated to celebrating the contributions American women have made in national history. In honor of Women's History Month I present to you some women to whom I am especially grateful.

Margaret Sanger

Alright, yes Sanger was involved with some fishy eugenics thought, as were many people at that point in history, but she also had a huge impact on birth control so that women could enjoy sex with less fear of pregnancy. She opened the first birth control clinic and formed the organization that would become Planned Parenthood. I propose that next time you swallow that BC pill, get your Nuvaring inserted, roll on that condom, or proceed right into sexy time without interruption thanks to your IUD, that you give a little mental thanks to Sanger. Without her sex wouldn't be nearly as safe or fun.

Juliette Gordon Low

Although Gordon Low had a privileged childhood, her marriage was not a happy one and when her husband died after 18 years of marriage he left the majority of his estate to his mistress. Talk about a dick move. Gordon Low was not a lady to be set back however, and, firmly latching onto the idea that "success is the best revenge," she set up the Girl Scouts of America after meeting the founder of the Boy Scouts. The original gathering of girls to talk about their feelings, boys, crafts, charity, pop culture, and domesticity, the Girl Scouts were, and are, about self-reliance, independence, and a willingness to help others. And not only did the Girl Scouts prepare girls for traditional domestic life, but also for a possible professional life. Many Pool Girls were undoubtedly Girl Scouts back in the day, and I, for one, credit Girl Scouts for teaching me how to build a fire, dig a latrine, and generally be a bad ass lady.

Sandra Day O'Connor

The first woman to serve on the Supreme Court, Day O'Connor's vote was often instrumental in upholding a woman's right to abortion. Curious since she was nominated to the Court by Regan and was considered a moderately conservative Republican. Still, her presence on the highest judge panel in the United States was an important first for American women and her refusal to overturn Roe v. Wade signaled that women's health is an issue that effects all women, no matter the political affiliation.

Betty Dodson

Considered the mother of the sex positive feminist movement, Dodson's book Sex for One helped liberate masturbation. She began having erotic art shows in NYC in the late 1960's but soon left the art world to concentrate on women's health and pleasure. At the NOW Sexuality Conference in 1973 Dodson introduced the electric vibrator as a pleasure device. Also famed for her masturbation workshops, Dodson has written many articles and books on masturbation and women's pleasure. When you get your copy of PoolBoy Magazine in the mail and are able to sneak away for some private time, remember what Dodson did for female masturbation and maybe dedicate your next solo O to this important lady.

Some more contemporary ladies that I am thankful for: Kathleen Hanna, bell hooks, Debbie Stoller, Joani Blank, Judy Chicago, Kate Chopin, Hillary Rodham Clinton, and the Guerrilla Girls.

Who are you celebrating for Women's History Month?

Maybe flames for a hot pussy?

2010-02-27T07:40:00.000-08:00

Apparently "Vajazzling" your lady bits is the new fad for folks with too much time on their hands.

Apparently, they wax the shit outta you and then Swarovski crystals (or your own jewels) are placed in an artful design of your choice. The jewels stay on for about 5 days. I assume they begin to flake off after that, and am trying to think of a good way to explain to your boy toy why you have 4 or 5 random jewels just hanging out on your junk. "I'm a jewel thief, and the cops never check there!" just doesn't seem hot enough.

With businesses "going green", do you think they'll ever offer the option of planting grass seeds instead?

Beaten to the Bong

2010-02-25T09:47:00.000-08:00

It was with excitement and a little disappointment that I learned from Jezebel about Best Buds, a girl stoner movie in the works staring Natalie Portman. I say I felt a little disappointment only because the lovely lady of leisure and I had been working on something similar (and I don't mean just being best buds and smoking a lot of weed, though we do that as well). Best Buds is apparently a stoner lady movie with "a road trip and a wedding at its center, with female friends hitting the road to cure a bride friend's woes with weed."

It's so nice to see movies with female comedians as the stars and also to see the myth about ladies not liking green dispelled in a big public way. Best Buds screenwriter Jamie Denbo feels the same way, and she realized it watching Knocked Up:

The galvanizing moment for Denbo was the scene in Knocked Up when Katherine Heigl's character makes Seth Rogen's give up his bong. "It just seemed like a metaphor of, 'Put down the bong and we can get married.' That's not how it goes in my house. It's more like, 'Hey, you're pregnant, maybe stop smoking weed for fucking five minutes," jokes Denbo, who is the mother of two. "That was never the women that I knew."

Lady speaks the truth! Denbo also knows what's up concerning dick jokes:

...dick jokes may have reached their peak. "They've gotten to a point with dick jokes that now they have to show a dick for it to be funny," says Denbo, pointing to Jason Segal in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

I dream of the day when almost every big actor has shown his dick in a movie, like most women now with their breasts. If it's gotten to the point where ya gotta show some peen now to get laughs from a dick joke then we are well on our way.

Back to Best Buds, I'm glad someone has finally made a stoner chick movie. Fingers crossed that it lives up to such classics as How High and Harold and Kumar, just with dicks instead of all the boobs.

Speaking of funny ladies and weed, remember Garfunkel and Oates?

Vampires give me a Boner

2010-02-23T09:54:00.000-08:00

If you've been reading the PoolBoy blog at all you are probably aware that I'll use any excuse to post pics of R-Patz. NPR recently offered me another opportunity when they wrote this Bloody Book List. And it's not just a vampire reading list (though there is a pretty good one at the end), but an article about how one can know what's happening at a certain point in history by checking out the vampire lit of the time. Don't believe me?

Take Bram Stoker's Dracula.
"It was written at the end of the 19th century, at a time when England had some of the largest ports in the world," says Benita Blessing, who teaches modern European history at Ohio University. "Here you have a ship arriving from Eastern Europe, bearing soil from another country, and a plague-like person who is going to bring death and destruction. The concerns at that time were foreign illnesses, unwanted immigrants. What Dracula is about is the fear of what we might today call globalization."

That's just the first example. The article discusses Anne Rice's vamp novels, Whitley Strieber's The Hunger, and the current wave of blood sucking books like Mormon Meyer's Twilight series and Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse novels

So what does the recent infatuation with deadly immortals tell us about the national subconscious today? Well, in both Twilight and the Sookie Stackhouse series the main vampire characters try to deny their animal instincts and be more moral, in an attempt to be more human. Vampires, even Sookie's Bill Compton, are predators, but then again, so are humans. Dracula wasn't concerned about mainstreaming or following a set of moral rules. So why does Edward Cullen care about weather he drinks the blood of an animal or a human?

Apparently it's because humans are killing the Earth and we feel really bad about it. According to Whitley Strieber:

"Our prey is our planet," he says. Today's fear is not the Cold War or AIDS, it's the fate of the Earth: "We sense that there is something wrong with the environment, that the planet itself may not be able to sustain us very long, and so we are beginning to romance death once again."

I buy it. It seems that vampires, who usually represent fear of death, appear in literature to reflect what the major fear of the time is, from immigration, to disease, to the uncertainty at the end of the Cold War, to pollution. If you are into vampires or how literature reflects culture and what's happening in the world, this article is a must read.

I'll leave you with a little Eric from True Blood to get you through the day.

Have a good Tuesday, biznatches.

I like big dicks

2010-02-21T08:36:00.000-08:00

and i cannot lie

Saturday Morning Boners

2010-02-20T07:35:00.000-08:00

We effing love boners.

In the eye of the beholder...

2010-02-19T07:55:00.000-08:00

I found this awesome quote here:

i was about 11 and eager to learn about all of this fascinating grown up stuff, and since i had no friends and this was before the internet was commonplace, i had to consult my mother's book shelves. i found what i believe was a second wave feminist type book about women's health/the female body/sexuality/etc. there was, of course, a chapter in this book about how pornography is inherently oppressive and misogynist in nature. this chapter was illustrated with a drawing of a woman in a nurse's uniform giving a man a blowjob.

i looked at it in awe, thinking that this is an incredibly daring, radical feminist statement - she is eating his penis because she is mad at the patriarchy.

Enjoy your day, Ladies.

Fat Tuesday: Join the Pool Boy Mag Ladies

2010-02-15T12:05:00.000-08:00

Hey! Celebrate Fat Tuesday with us!

Tomorrow night the Pool Boy Magazine Ladies are joining Jenga on the Late Nite Jenga Jam!

10:30 pm EST!

I love cake

2010-02-12T11:03:00.000-08:00

Via feministe.

DIY Your Own Lube

2010-02-11T08:51:00.000-08:00

Hey ladies, we all know that we make our own lube on a daily basis but sometimes you need/want more than what your body is producing. That's where making your own DIY lube comes in. Many commercial lubes use crazy, non-FDA regulated or approved, chemicals, not unlike some of the chemicals used in anti-freeze and brake fluid. Stay away from commercial lubes that contain Propylene glycol, parabens, and synthetic fragrances!

I'll be the first to admit that I often refer to my beautiful cunt as a well-oiled machine, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be putting anti-freeze or brake fluid all up in there.

Many fabulous, female-owned and oriented sex product stores like Toys in Babeland are now starting to offer new eco-friendly personal lubricants like Babeland Naturals Organic Lube and Good Clean Love.

But for the DIY-on-the-go gal such as myself, it's more fun and economical to make your own lube.

Here's what you need to do to be slipping and sliding in no time:

Ingredients
1 pot for boiling
2 cups of water
2.5 Tbsp of flax seeds (you can get this at most grocery stores or health foods stores)
20 minutes of your lovely time
a stove or hot plate for boiling

DIY-it
1 - Pour the 2 cups of water into the pot and bring to a boil on your stovetop
2 - Add the 2.5 tbsp of flax seeds to the boiling water and simmer the seeds for about 20 minutes or until the water is reduced by half
3 - Strain out the solid flax seeds immediately after 20 minutes
4 - Let your lube cool so it's safe to use and enjoy!

You can store the lube in a reusable container in your fridge for up to 2 weeks. Un-refridgerated lube should only be used for up to two days after making it.

Don't forget to give your lube a special, sexy name and if you're feeling extra crafty and foxy, a sexy label! I call mine "Doris Miller's Sexy Anti-Freeze for the Well-Oiled Machine"

For those more visual learners, Grist.org's eco-diva Umbra Fisk has a new video that shows you how it's done:

Your brain on Durex

2010-02-10T14:10:00.000-08:00

At first I thought these new Durex ads were pretty sweet. They're so simple and sometimes when having sex it can feel like one's whole body is just a sea of single thoughts. But some of the thoughts on these ads are a little creepy. I get the "tasty" in her throat and "satisfied" and "contented" running up her legs and even the "fruit" that her loins are thinking (and "tousled" in her hair is great), but what's with her boobs thinking "boobs" over and over? My boobs are usually thinking "touch me!" when I find myself in this position.

And what's with the dude's body mostly thinking "fatal error" while his man parts suddenly become "intelligence" and "wisdom"? I haven't met a lot of dudes whose dicks struck me as suddenly wise and intelligent when they found said cock in my mouth.

Want to see what ladies are thinking when we're actually getting some deep dicking? The Sexist breaks down how female orgasms happen in mythological afterlives while Jezebel takes us through where "confused" comes in while ladies ride on top (see below).

"The most annoying thing about these ads is that they have the potential to be really good - if they made a little more sense. The female body is shown as a complex textbook of emotions, while men are reduced to one single thought (or less). Naturally, Krahne wants to play up the sexy part of sex, but wouldn't it be funnier if the oral sex-woman was thinking about "suction," "teeth," "knee pain" or if we wanted to be really honest, "this condom tastes like a Fruit Roll-Up that has been sprayed with Lysol." Also, we appreciate that it takes a certain about of strain to maintain that position for men, but it's not exactly a cakewalk for us either. Finally, maybe instead of "confusion," a woman on the brink of an orgasm could be shown thinking "hells yes!" or at the very least "don't stop." " (Jezebel)

Fuck yeah, hairy pits!

2010-02-10T09:48:00.000-08:00

Seriously, so sexy. And I know that ya'll love hairy pits on babes too, because when I posted about Mo'Nique's sexy ass hairy legs we got crazy hits. You'd be surprised how many people search "hairy women" or "hairy armpits women."

So check out the hairy pits club, cuz that shit is hot hot hot.

HPV Vaccine for Dudes Too!

2010-02-09T10:39:00.000-08:00

Remember a few years back when you spent a shitload (or had your insurance spend a shitload) on the HPV vaccine, otherwise known as Gardasil? Now your boyfriend can get vaccinated too! That's right kiddies, Gardasil is now approved for boys and men between the ages of 9 and 26 (after that you probably already have HPV, sorry). Here are some deets:

"Just Out!!! Gardasil, the vaccine that protects girls and women from genital warts and cervical cancer has been approved for boys and men. Genital warts, cervical cancer, and some cancers of the penis, scrotum, anus, and throat are caused by certain types of human papilloma virus (HPV). While the vaccine may not protect boys and men against all HPV types that can cause these cancers, it does protect them against the two HPV types (types 6 and 11) that cause 90 percent of genital warts in the U.S."

Tell your boyfriend to get his shots now or his penis will fall off. Also, parents watch out, this will probably make your son into a super slut.

saturday night all right

2010-02-06T11:25:00.000-08:00

Listen Up!!

2010-02-04T07:03:00.000-08:00

Listen up Ladies and Pool Boys!

The Pool Boy Ladies will be appearing on the radio show The Late Nite Jenga Jam!

Tune in 10:30 PM EST on Tuesday, February 16th to the always delightfully informative OboeCrazy's "This Week in Geek", and the ladies talk about what's new in the Pool House.

Call in to talk directly to the Pool Boy Ladies!

If you're worried about missing the show, you can listen to old shows on the site!

See you by the pool, boys....

2010-02-01T05:41:00.000-08:00

Summer's coming!

And so are we!

Why Aren't The Networks Picking Up Any Pilots Created By Women?

2010-01-30T13:46:00.000-08:00

(Amy Sherman-Pallidino, creator of The Gilmore Girls, with star Lauren Graham)

Jezebel asks, "Why Aren't the Networks Picking Up Any Pilots Created By Women?" And it's a good question, though it does explain a few things (like Big Love).

Apparently, "3 out of 33 comedy scripts that went to pilot were written by women. That is 9%," while only "6 out of 36 drama scripts went to pilot were written by women. That is 16%." In case you're bad at math, those numbers aren't pretty.

So what's the deal? Are we still dealing with a boys club in Hollywood? How else do you explain this ridiculousness (from WomenandHollywood.com):

NBC had no comedies written by women and Fox had no dramas written by women
HBO had one female written pilot in two years. FX nothing. Lifetime nothing. USA nothing.

To quote Jezebel's hortense,"LIFETIME! Television for motherfucking women! In the words of Angelina from Jersey Shore: "Um, hello?!?"

Um, hello!?!? indeed.

The CBS Super Anti-Choice Bowl

2010-01-29T09:32:00.000-08:00

Have you all been hearing about this?
That powerful television network CBS is hosting the Super Bowl this year.

We all know that it's fun to watch the multi-million dollar ads during the super bowl show. And CBS's long held policy is that they won't air ads that take sides on controversial issues like gun control, gay marriage etc. In fact, in the past, CBS has turned down advocacy ads it deemed controversial, including ads from MoveOn.org and the progressive United Church of Christ.

HOWEVER.
Apparently attacks on women's rights is not a controversial issue and the network has accepted several million dollars (CBS charges 2.5-2.8 million for a 30second spot) from Focus on the Family (aptly named because women have never focused on their families) to air an anti-choice ad during this years Super Bowl.

CBS has cleared the way to subject nearly 100 million people to Focus on the Family’s extreme agenda by agreeing to air its new anti-choice ad during the Super Bowl. This ad reportedly promotes the decision of one woman to go against her doctor's advice to terminate an at-risk pregnancy, as the right decision that all women should make.

Focus on the Family has an unmistakable anti-choice, anti-birth-control, anti-sex-education, and anti-gay rights agenda. If that wasn’t bad enough, its views on women are just plain insulting and dangerous. For example, its web site urges women facing an unintended pregnancy to seek "wise advice” (presumably from them) because “the hormones and extreme emotions of pregnancy make reasonable decisions more difficult.”
Apparently you have the right to choose but only if it agrees with their agenda.

Hey you crazy dumb bitches, you're all nutso cuz you're preggers right? You can't make your own decisions! Don't eat that! You should be locked away in your house during your pregnancy! Let an extremist religious organization make the decisions for you!! We kill doctors!

Orphans not abortions!! amiright?!?

Super Bowl ads are already filled with a bunch of sexist commercials that completely ignore 50% of their customers/sports fans, reducing women to naggy girlfriends or T&A Beer holders, and now we have to watch an ad that tells us we're dumb and shouldn't be able to decide what we want for ourselves?

Do we really need anti-choice propaganda (or any politics) pushed in our faces during a football game? What happened to just watching a bunch of men run around on a big field in tights and jump on each other?

Here's where you can tell CBS to eat it:
Naral Petition to urge CBS to not run the ad or except money from hate groups

The Women's Media Center's Not Under The Bus Petition

NOW has an email form you can send to CBS

FYI:
Women are vastly under-represented in high-level decision making roles at the television networks (and pretty much all media outlets). Despite this disadvantage, NBC managed to make the right decision last year, refusing to run an anti-choice ad during the Super Bowl. Anti-choice forces are on the offensive. They don't want to help women make informed decisions -- they want to, in the words of Focus on the Family, make abortion "both illegal and unthinkable." We must stand up to their campaign to deny women their fundamental rights.

For re-tweeting:
Tweet: RT @womensmediacntr Tell @CBS and @NFL to scrap Focus on the Family's anti-choice #superbowl ad! #underthebus http://bit.ly/7Zs8jq

Please spread the word!

Vice knows what's up!

2010-01-28T07:10:00.000-08:00

Vice magazine knows some good bone: Work hard, Play hard

Very Bad Porn

2010-01-27T09:10:00.000-08:00

VeryBadPorn.com. There really are no words. Except for these words (borrowed from verybadporn.com):

"THREE PEOPLE HAVING SEX IS THE CHARM

So this guy is walking down the street, and out of NOWHERE he sees these two girls and they are so hot, both of them are incredibly hot. They just walk over to him and are like: “want to have sex in the park with us with condoms?” He’s like “YEAH!” because it’s going to be awesome because it’s sex with two girls at once, but he’s using protection so it’s pretty safe to have casual sex. Although he had heard that a condom is not 100% preventitive, it’s pretty close, and he really wants to have sex with these two random girls because it’s a threesome and also it’s totally random. They both look pretty clean too, although he totally knows from ads and stuff that you can’t tell just by looking at someone, but everyone makes that initial judgment. So they go behind a park building and start having sex, and they are loving it. They’re all having sex with each other in all the different combinations possible, and then a park ranger is like “Hey get out of here!” And they say “want to join the party” actually the girls say that, and he says “No! I’m a Park Ranger, I’m on duty, and my responsibility is to make sure these parks are appropriate for people to enjoy on this Sunday afternoon and every day that I work here.” So they get dressed real quick and then all go to work. He promises not to run over and over in his mind if those girls were slutty, and if they may have STDs, because he can’t tell, and it’s too late now, he already made the decision to have sex with them, so it doesn’t do anything to just keep running it over and over in his mind. He shouldn’t have had casual sex in the first place, he knows that, but it was one of his fantasies and who knows if he’ll ever have another chance to do it again? It’s hard with stuff like that.

-Chelsea"

Panties wet yet? And the pictures are just as good.

Someone buy me this verybadporn shirt.

Is the week over yet?

2010-01-26T06:52:00.000-08:00

It's only Tuesday and we're praying for Friday. This is how I'm wasting away my week:

literotica.com

It's a simple erotica site, full of every fantasy you could wrap your brain around.

I'd mention more, but it's a little difficult typing with one hand.

Three Feminist Leaders Killed in Haitain Earthquake

2010-01-25T21:08:00.000-08:00

More sad news coming out of Haiti:

CNN reports that Haitian leaders Myriam Merlet, Magalie Marcelin and Anne Marie Coriolan were among the over 100,000 killed in the devastating earthquake that struck Haiti this month.

If you haven't already, please dontate what you can to relief organizations, especially organizations that provide relief for women and children. Women and girls suffer the most in crisis situations because of social inequity.

Here are some organizations to donate to:
Diaspora - A U.S. Haitian Refugee Organization
Doctors Without Borders
Partners in Health
Save the Children

CNN) -- One returned to her Haitian roots, to give voice to women, honor their stories and shape their futures. Another urged women to pack a courtroom in Haiti, where she succeeded in getting a guilty verdict against a man who battered his wife. A third joined the others and helped change the law to make rape, long a political weapon in Haiti, a punishable crime.

Myriam Merlet, Magalie Marcelin and Anne Marie Coriolan, founders of three of the country's most important advocacy organizations working on behalf of women and girls, are confirmed dead -- victims of last week's 7.0 earthquake.

And their deaths have left members of the women's movement, Haitian and otherwise, reeling.

"Words are missing for me. I lost a large chunk of my personal, political and social life," Carolle Charles wrote in an e-mail to colleagues. The Haitian-born sociology professor at Baruch College in New York is chair of Dwa Fanm (meaning "Women's Rights" in Creole), a Brooklyn-based advocacy group. These women "were my friends, my colleagues and my associates. I cannot envision going to Haiti without seeing them."

Myriam Merlet was until recently the chief of staff of ...

Haiti's Ministry for Gender and the Rights of Women, established in 1995, and still served as a top adviser. She died after being trapped beneath her collapsed Port-au-Prince home, Charles said. She was 53.

Merlet, an author as well as an activist, fled Haiti in the 1970s. She studied in Canada, steeping herself in economics, women's issues, feminist theory and political sociology.

In the mid-1980s, she returned to her homeland. In "Walking on Fire: Haitian Women's Stories of Survival and Resistance," published in 2001, she contributed an essay, "The More People Dream," in which she described what brought her back.

"While I was abroad I felt the need to find out who I was and where my soul was. I chose to be a Haitian woman," she wrote. "We're a country in which three-fourths of the people can't read and don't eat properly. I'm an integral part of the situation. I am not in Canada in a black ghetto, or an extraterrestrial from outer space. I am a Haitian woman. I don't mean to say that I am responsible for the problems. But still, as a Haitian woman, I must make an effort so that all together we can extricate ourselves from them."

She was a founder of Enfofamn, an organization that raises awareness about women through media, collects stories and works to honor their names. Among her efforts, she set out to get streets named after Haitian women who came before her, Charles said.

Dubbed a "Vagina Warrior," she was remembered Tuesday by her friend Eve Ensler, the award-winning playwright and force behind V-Day, a global movement to end violence against women and girls.

"She was very bold," said Ensler, who at Merlet's insistence brought her play "The Vagina Monologues" to Haiti and helped establish safe houses for women in Port-au-Prince and Cap Haitien. "She had an incredible vision of what was possible for Haitian women, and she lifted their spirits. ... And we had such a wonderful time. I remember her dancing in the streets of New Orleans and just being so alive."

Magalie Marcelin, a lawyer and actress who appeared in films and on stage, established Kay Fanm, a women's rights organization that deals with domestic violence, offers services and shelter to women and makes microcredits, or loans, available to women working in markets, said Charles, the chair of Dwa Fanm.

Charles remembered a visit to Haiti about two years ago when Marcelin, believed to be in her mid-50s, called seeking help. Hoping to deflect the political clout of a defendant in court, she asked for women to come out in droves and pack the courtroom. Charles watched as the man on trial was convicted for battering his wife.

Her death has been reported through various media outlets, and was confirmed to CNN by Carribbean Radio Television based in Port-au-Prince. Her own daughter helped dig her body out from rubble in the aftermath of the quake, Charles said she learned when she got the call from Marcelin's cousin.

In an interview last year with the Haitian Times, Marcelin spoke of the image of a drum that adorned public awareness stickers.

"It's very symbolic in the Haitian cultural imagination," Marcelin said, according to the Haitian Times report. "The sound of the drum is the sound of freedom, it's the sound of slaves breaking with slavery."

With Merlet, Anne Marie Coriolan, 53, served as a top adviser to the women's rights ministry.

Coriolan, who died when her boyfriend's home collapsed, was the founder of Solidarite Fanm Ayisyen (Solidarity with Haitian Women, or SOFA), which Charles described as an advocacy and services organization.

Her daughter, Wani Thelusmon Coriolan, said in Haiti children bear only their father's surname, but her mother insisted on keeping her maiden name and making sure her two children shared it, too.

"She said my dad was not the only one who created me. She was involved, too," her 24-year-old daughter, who lives and is studying in Montreal, Quebec, said with a laugh.

Even though Wani and her brother no longer live in Haiti (he is in Paris, France), she said her mother was determined to make sure they were proud of their homeland.

"She loved her country. She never stopped believing in Haiti. She said that when you have a dream you have to fight for it," Wani said. "She wanted women to have equal rights. She wanted women to hold their heads high."

Coriolan was a political organizer who helped bring rape -- "an instrument of terror and war," Charles said -- to the forefront of Haitian courts.

Before 2005, rapes in Haiti were treated as nothing more than "crimes of passion," Charles explained. That changed because of the collective efforts of these women activists -- and others they inspired.

With the three leaders gone, there is concern about the future of Haiti's women and girls. Even with all that's been achieved, the struggle for equality and against violence remains enormous.

The chaos that's taken over the devastated nation heightens those worries, said Taina Bien-Aimé, the executive director of Equality Now, a human rights organization dedicated to women.

Before the disaster struck last week, a survey of Haitian women and girls showed an estimated 72 percent had been raped, according to study done by Kay Fanm. And at least 40 percent of the women surveyed were victims of domestic violence, Bien-Aimé said.

And humanitarian emergencies have been linked to increased violence and exploitation in the past, she said.

"From where we stand," Bien-Aimé wrote in an e-mail, "the most critical and urgent issue is what, if any, contingencies the relief/humanitarian agencies are putting in place not only to ensure that women have easy access to food, water and medical care, but to guarantee their protection."

Concerned women in the New York area plan to gather Wednesday to strategize their next steps, Ensler said.

And while they will certainly keep mourning, she and the others are hopeful that Haitian women, inspired by these fallen heros and leaders, will forge ahead -- keeping their fight and legacies alive.

Happy Friday!!

2010-01-22T09:40:00.001-08:00

Hey Ladies and Pool Boys!!

It's finally Friday! While all you beautiful folk should be laid out on the lawn chugging margaritas and our specialty dirty mojitos and praying for summer, we're hunkered down in the pool house working on the final stages of bringing you our first issue!

here's a little bit of something to keep you dancing today:

American Nipples Severely Under-Clamped

2010-01-21T21:43:00.000-08:00

THE ONION—A new study released this week by the U.S. Bureau of Masochism has concluded that American nipples are critically under-clamped, bolstering long-held suspicions that the nation is rapidly losing interest in the thin, delectable line between pleasure and pain.

According to the study, which surveyed a wide swath of citizens who have been very, very bad, 78 percent of all U.S. nipples are not being pinched, tweaked, or otherwise constricted in a severe enough manner. In addition, the study found that nearly 90 percent of all Americans are not currently down on their hands and knees, begging for more.

"The vast majority of U.S. citizens are just not receiving the physical punishment they deserve," said Masochism Bureau director Geoff Knowlton, who was permitted by his mistress, Alexandria, to meet with reporters despite being unfit for anything but groveling at her boot heels. "Unless something is done—whether with a riding crop, a stiff wooden paddle, or a series of humiliating commands to bark like a dog—this problem will only get worse."

"We are sniveling, spineless
scum," Knowlton continued. "And it's time we were taught a lesson."
Though disconcerting to many, the Masochism Bureau's findings regarding nipple-abuse were not unexpected. Hooded sources confirmed the cruelty of erotically charged acts has dropped sharply in the past decade, which has also seen declines in the overall use of bondage gear, the tightness of leather harnesses, and the number of instances of naked, dominated citizens screaming out in delight while being flogged repeatedly against the hindquarters.

The use of hot, ripe eggplants has also reportedly fallen off.

"Most Americans we spoke to indicated that they had never engaged in any form of formalized nipple torture," said Masochism Bureau researcher Brian Henley. "Furthermore, only 3 percent of citizens indicated that they were likely to dangle heavy weights from their outstretched areolas while being ordered to crawl inside of a small metal cage."

Added Henley, "I'm sorry, but that's just a frightening statistic."

Despite the pessimistic conclusions of the study, researchers said that robust nipple-clamping and flagellation were still occurring in small pockets across the country, giving them hope that there could be a national masochism resurgence someday.

"For whatever reason, certain regions have bucked the trend," Knowlton said. "If we can figure out why a suburb like Coral Springs, FL, with its predominantly elderly and conservative population, has actually seen its rate of urolagnia and other water sports increase, we could potentially use that information to stage a turnaround."

Many have praised the study as an urgently needed wake-up call, saying they hope it will encourage more direct government involvement in the public's eroticized pain needs.

"With any luck, this study is just the beginning," Topeka, KS submissive Glenn Lange said. "Unless we want to live in a nation where you'll only find nipple vices or welting rods in a museum, the government needs to step up."

However, citizens like Nathan Cardozzi of Boston disagreed, claiming that increased government regulation would only stymie what has always been a private act of exquisite torture between two or more consenting adults.

"Mmmph mmmph mrrrr mmmmph," Cardozzi said through the ball gag he was forced to wear to plug his filthy voice hole. "Mmmmrh mrrrhhhhh mmmph mummm."

"Mmmrphmphmmhmmmrh," he added, slowly shaking his head.

The Bureau of Masochism study offered several recommendations aimed at reversing the downward trend in nipple-clamping, all of which were redacted by their superiors at the Department of Sadism, who ordered them to shut up at once and get back to licking the floors clean.

Politicians I would Bang

2010-01-20T11:07:00.000-08:00

This is a little bittersweet since ole boner jam Scott Brown has actually won Kennedy's Senate seat since I first wrote this post but whatevs. Republican...well, now Senator I guess....Scott Brown is one politician I would have banged back when he posed in this Cosmo nude spread.

Hells to the yeah! That's one Republican caucus I'd like to get my hands on.

Not to get deep after showing such fap material, but if Scott Brown was a woman running for a US Senate seat and this material surfaced, do ya think she'd have anywhere near as good a chance of winning as this dude does/did? I think not.

To Shave or Not to Shave

2010-01-19T10:26:00.000-08:00

Apparently Mo'Nique blew everyone's minds at the Golden Globes the other night because she *gasp* DID NOT SHAVE HER LEGS. A woman having hairy legs is so crazy in this day and age that the New York Daily News wrote an article about it. Actually, there is some awesome stuff in the article, like how the headline asks if Mo'Nique is the "least superficial actress ever?" (although they make that sound like a bad thing).

I give total props to Mo'Nique for not being ashamed (she pulled up her long skirt on the runway to show off her au natural yams!) and for publicaly speaking out for natural body hair (on The View in 2006). However, I could have done without this comment:

"I really think hair on a woman's legs is a black woman's thing," she later added, after pointing out that she does shave under her arms to avoid "stink."

First, no way, hairy armpits on ladies are hot and do not stink unless you just got done running a marathon or something and then I'd argue that even hairless armpits would stink. Second, body hair is a human issue, I don't care if you're white, black, a tranny, or a Yankees fan.

Shall we discuss why American culture is so obsessed with women being hairless? I've heard before that women of the night shaved their armpits, legs, and public hair back when the west was still wild to prove to clients that they didn't have lice or crabs. I've also heard that getting women to shave was all a big marketing blight so that companies that sold hair removal products could make more money. So what is better, that a common cultural, sexist (why don't dudes shave their armpits if it's so unsanitary to let that shit grow?) practice originated from whores or that American women were duped by companies who wanted their dollars at the expense of their self esteem (people are still horrified when they see hairy pits, trust me. That can wreck havoc on a lady's sense of self worth if you let it.)? I'd say both those reasons are pretty lame. Shave if you want to or don't, it doesn't really matter. But let's stop the hating on ladies that chose to let it grow, shall we?

Oh, and I like how the Mo'Nique articles ends on such a catty, backhanded compliment:

"Love it or hate it, she's one actress you can't say is overly obsessed with her appearance."

Obviously hairy women is something the US is still trying to get a grip on. I, for one, say bravo to all the ladies out there that choose not to shave AND to show it off. Bravo, Mo'Nique, keep raising up that skirt! Oh, and congrats on that Golden Globe too!

Super Bangable

2010-01-18T22:57:00.000-08:00

So I've just started watching that tv show Heroes (i know, what year is it?! 2004?!) and last night, as i leisurely lounged in front of the tv, my sister asked me which super power I would want out of all the super powers on the show. This question got me thinking about super hot super hereos and which ones were bangable and which ones I would rather not see in tights. I tend to always move important philosophical discussions towards the topic of sex, it's my super power.

Here's my list of Movie/TV Versions of Super Heroes That I would Totally Bang:

Batman

Definitely Michael Keaton (back in the day yo), definitely Christian Bale, probably George Clooney (a classic move) and maybe if I've had a few glasses of wine, Val Kilmer.
But most definitely Bruce Wayne.

Wolverine

Australians and sideburns have never been this sexy together.

Superman

RIP to the motherfucking classic.

Iron Man

Yes Robert Downey, Jr. I will totally bang you.

Knight Rider

Would I bang back-in-the-day David Hasselhoff?

Sie wetteten doucheland!

The Human Torch

HOT.

I don't know your name, generic good looking actor, but I'd hit it.

Manimal

you bet your fucking ass

And here's a list of Movie/TV Versions of Super Heroes I Would Totally Give A Fake Number To:

Spiderman

Two words: Tobey Maguire

or one word: spiders

or this word: gross

Bibleman

I bet the sex is just awful.

Captain Nice

You mean Captain Nice Cameltoe

Who are your super bangable super heroes?

Kathleen Hanna's blog

2010-01-14T18:30:00.000-08:00

is hilarious

Porn for the New World Order

2010-01-07T07:03:00.000-08:00

2010 is going on!

and of course our first post of the new year is about porn!

Check out this Canadian-based female oriented porn company run by porn star extraordinaire Candida Royalle

Femme Productions carries a good amount of videos including Royalle's own videos (Stud Hunters anyone?) as well as Afrodite Superstar, a porn directed by Venus Hottentot and featuring black and Latina actresses, which is nice to see in the cataglog amidst all the white porn.

Extra points for being able to order and watch the movies online!

New Year's Resolutions

2009-12-31T11:44:00.000-08:00

Everyone's writing about their New Year's Resolutions.

Graphic designer Monina Velarde has created a New Year's Resolution Generator which is cool because it let's you click through a ton of resolutions and then promptly forget about them, much like in real life, but with the speed of the internet. Fuck writing that shit down.

For me, more than any resolution, New Year's Eve is like a Get Out of Jail Monopoly card. It's a free pass to start over, no excuses. It's a time marker, that's for sure, but a positive one. If you're planning on losing weight this year (ladies of leisure don't need to unless it's medically advised), NYE is like a kick in the butt. If you want to quit smoking (which you should, that shit is o'nast), you'll probably end up getting drunk tonight and smoking a shitload of cigarettes AND THEN QUITTING on the 1st.

Right?

One NYE, not so long ago, my resolution was to not get black-out drunk anymore (i was involved with some bad dick at the time and drinking the pain away, it happens). Well i don't remember much of that new year's eve other than waking up the next day in my bathroom in only my coat and a puddle of vomit, but I haven't blacked out since. Goddamn I'm better than that and all it took was a new year's eve to get me out of my slump. Use and abuse it ladies, NYE is a time for redemption/rebirth/start overs.

Hamilton Wright Mabie sums it up best in this quote:
“New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no woman has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights”

So whether you're sitting on your couch or going out to get your party on tonight, have a safe and happy new year's eve and keep up the keeping up!

And never let the Horse of Judgement judge you from the 3rd floor:

P.S. PoolBoy Magazine's 2010 Resolutions are to put out our first issue (almost done!) and continue to be badass.

DIY in 2010

2009-12-29T16:29:00.000-08:00

As we head into 2010 the economy is still lagging and times still hard for today's working lady. We need to get creative about finding jobs and other ways to survive and thrive. Think outside the box and all that crap. But if Meghann Rosales of Jug Wine comix can't find a job with this vesume than we're all screwed.

Check out the first issue of PoolBoy Magazine, coming spring 2010, to see more Jug Wine comix.

Happy Jonas Holidays

2009-12-25T11:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays! Be safe, just like the abstinence loving Jonas brothers:

Married Jonas Brother Says Sex Not Worth the Wait
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Just days after tying the knot after years of abstinence, Kevin Jonas of the pop sensation the Jonas Brothers stunned his teenaged fans by announcing that "to be honest about it, sex was not worth the wait."

"After we did it, I was kind of like, that's it?" Mr. Jonas told reporters at a New York press conference.

As to whether Mr. Jonas' bride agreed with his "that's it?" assessment, Mr. Jonas remarked, "That's what she said."

Merry XXXMas from PoolBoy Magazine

2009-12-24T10:27:00.000-08:00

Hope all you naughty pool girls get lots of presents!

this what came up when i googled "naughty santa"

sorry